IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that online learning is more effective than traditional classroom learning. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #classroom
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Some individuals
,
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apply
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 think that online learning is better
from
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than
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 traditional classroom learning. Others think face-to-face learning is the best.
This
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 essay will explore both
benefits
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the benefits
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 and limitations of each to determine which may be more beneficial in today’s educational system. On one hand, supporters of
online
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the online
show examples
 system believe that through the online
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lesson
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lesson,
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students
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 do not waste time on the road and use their time more efficiently. They can
also
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 be able to join classes in many places
such
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 as
,
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restaurant
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restaurants
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,
hotel
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and hotel
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office
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offices
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. They need just too small
room
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a room
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 for joining lectures. Online classes eliminate the problem of being late
to
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for
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 classes.
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However
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However,
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 there are
also
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 some negative sides. If
students
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 do not have
special
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a special
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 room, laptop,
quiet
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or quiet
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 place for learning something, it will not be effective
On the other hand
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, supporters of face-to-face learning emphasize the importance of direct interaction between
students
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 and teachers, which creates a more interesting and active learning environment. I think that in
this
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 learning
way
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way,
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teacher
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teachers
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 can understand
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students
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students'
student's
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problem
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problems
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 in the
lesson
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 and it can be more effective than online
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lesson
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lessons
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. Most of the
students
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 learn something
with
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apply
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obligatory. So,
online
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an online
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Use synonyms
lesson
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lessons
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 can be
chance
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a chance
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for
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to
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 avoid
from
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apply
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the lessons. Ultimately, the examples and arguments given I think that both learning methods have their advantages, but
high
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a high
the high
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 percentage of people choose face-to-face learning for do not avoid the lessons.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs to make the essay easier to follow. Consider using clearer transition phrases.
Task Achievement
Enhance your examples with specific details to make your arguments more persuasive.
Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion clearly restate your stance and summarize key points.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by exploring both sides of the argument, which is a strong approach to task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
You used some transitional phrases and sentence starters which help in maintaining coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is clear with distinct paragraphs for different ideas, contributing to overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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