The desire for higher status or great wealth than others is what motivate most people to succeed in the world. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some
people
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argue that a desire
for achieving
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to achieve
show examples
higher
status
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and
great
Correct word choice
greater
show examples
wealth
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than
others
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motivates most
people
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to succeed in
this
Linking Words
world. I personally agree with
this
Linking Words
viewpoint because aiming big, and having an urge
of being
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to be
show examples
respected by
others
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helps
someone
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to achieve higher
status
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or have great
wealth
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. If
someone
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aims
something
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for something
show examples
bigger than
others
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, it will motivate them to reach their goals. Having a big
aim
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for higher
status
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or great
wealth
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motivates
someone
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to do whatever they need to achieve. They will
work
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hard,
work
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overtime, and sacrifice their comfort to achieve that
status
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.
For example
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, if
someone
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has the
aim
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of buying a luxury car, he will earn a lot of
money
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to buy that car. His strong
aim
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will motivate him to
work
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hard to earn
money
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to purchase the car.
Moreover
Linking Words
, having a desire
for being
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to be
show examples
respected by
others
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helps
someone
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to reach their goals. In today's society, if
someone
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has a huge amount of
money
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, he is respected by
others
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. To earn that respect,
people
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work
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hard
,
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apply
show examples
and achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wealth
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and
money
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Bangladeshi society, those
people
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who have a lot of
money
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are considered rich, and only rich
people
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get attention and respect from
others
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. In conclusion, I agree with the fact that if
someone
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has the urge
of being
Change preposition
to be
show examples
respected by
others
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, and a big
aim
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, he only can become motivated to achieve that
status
Use synonyms
or
wealth
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.

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coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph structure by varying sentence length and complexity.
task achievement
Include more examples from diverse contexts to enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with small grammatical inaccuracies, but overall coherence is good.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical flow and satisfactorily uses examples to support points.
task achievement
Your task response is thorough, addressing the prompt completely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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