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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The maps below show changes in the city of Nelson in recent times.

The maps below show changes in the city of Nelson in recent times.
#maps #show #changes #city #nelson #times
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The given maps depict the transformation in the infrastructure of
Nelson
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
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 from 2000 to the present.
Overall
Linking Words
, throughout 24 years, the
city
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 of
Nelson
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 became more accessible and urbanized with the introduction of social places for residents. It is
also
Linking Words
 evident that the only green land
at
Change preposition
in
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 the northeast part of the
city
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 was eliminated. In 2000,
Nelson
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city
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 spanned a port in the south, which is along the parallel line with a highway, passing through from west to east.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there was a
city
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Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 above the main road, adjacent to which were old markets on the western side of
this
Linking Words
 region,
while
Linking Words
 the university building was situated at the northeast, beside the green area. The newly-constructed train station occupied the northernmost part of
Nelson
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. Coming to
present
Correct article usage
the present
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 time,
Nelson
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Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
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 has undergone significant alterations. A new restaurant and bars and clubs were constructed at the southwest and southeast edges of the bay, respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the main road was introduced as a pavement for pedestrians.
Next,
Linking Words
the
city
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Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 was supplemented with bikes for rental use, and at the right angle of
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
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Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
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, a new covered market was built opposite
to
Change preposition
apply
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the new shop
at
Change preposition
on
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 the left side of
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city
Add an article
the city
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Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
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. Looking at upper territories, the train station was refurbished and moved to the middle part,
while
Linking Words
 a new shopping mall came at the expense of the green land. A residence hall was placed in front of
university
Add an article
the university
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, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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remained intact.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the train line has been laid, connecting the university hub and
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
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Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
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.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words nelson, city, center with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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