Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists, not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited
international
Change preposition
by international
visitors
, not native people
. In my opinion, they are not interest
Change the verb form
are not interested
are not interesting
to
Change preposition
in wasting
waste
time and money
. Because they seen
these Add the auxiliary verb
saw
have seen
places
before.
On the other hand
, Firstly
, many native people
seen
these Add the auxiliary verb
saw
have seen
places
before because these places
are familiar to every native people
. For
this
reason,they do not want to a
Add a missing verb
be a
waste
of time. Secondly
, these places
are famous, and these areas ticket
prices very
expensive. Many local Add a missing verb
are very
people
income Change noun form
people's
low
. They want to save Add a missing verb
is low
money
, and they do not agree to waste
of
Change preposition
apply
money
in these places
. Thirdly
, many local people
lack of
knowledge about these Remove the preposition
apply
places
who
are uneducated they do not know about valuable things in these Correct word choice
and
places
. They can damage museums and historical places
things. Many local people
think it is just a waste
of time. In Bangladesh, 96% of visitors
are international and 4% of visitors
are local people
. Because local people
not
interested Add a missing verb
are not
for
seeing these Change preposition
in
places
again.
On the another
hand, the authorities should Correct quantifier usage
other
provides
discounts on Change the verb form
provide
ticket
or give free tickets Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
in
the local public. If Change preposition
to
not low
Verb problem
there are no
ticket
prices, local people
do not go these
Change preposition
to these
places
because they want to save money
. They dislike to waste
of money
in familiar areas. So the government should at least weekly provide discounts on tickets for the local public. And another thing government should train uneducated people
so that they could not
damage these valuable things.
In conclusion, many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by Wrong verb form
cannot
visitors
. Local people
do not go there . Authorities should less ticket
prices and should provide train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
of
uneducated Change preposition
for
people
.Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on
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task response
The essay addresses the task and provides some insights into why local people may not visit historical sites and museums. However, the reasoning could be more developed with additional supporting detail.
coherence and cohesion
Try to present ideas more clearly, ensuring each paragraph has a central theme and is connected logically to others. This will improve the coherence and flow.
structure
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, giving the response a sense of completeness.
support
You mentioned relevant examples such as the statistics from Bangladesh, which adds credibility to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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