The charts below show the results of s survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most hanppay
The pie chart compares the
reason
for Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
happniess
between Correct your spelling
happiness
two
age Correct article usage
the two
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
people
.
It is clear that
doning
hobbies and Correct your spelling
doing
donning
achievement
at work Replace the word
achieving
make
both tow groups feel Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
more happeier
,Correct word choice
happier
while
there are another
Replace the adjective
other
thricking
Correct your spelling
things
factors
affect what make
Change the verb form
makes
people
fell
happy.
Looking at the charts, the Correct your spelling
feel
most happy
thing for Change the adjective
happiest
people
is acquiring achievement at work ,people
aged over 30 are 32%, people
under 30 are 31%.The second thing which can make Correct word choice
and people
people
fell
happy is doing hobbies. Comparing the Correct your spelling
feel
people
which is over 30 years of age with people
under 30, those two groups people
only have small
gap Add an article
a small
on
the proportion, with the Change preposition
in
percentage
of
under 30 ages is 22%, Change preposition
apply
then
the other group of
Change preposition
apply
percentage
is 24%, Doing hobbies and achievement at work have the majority percentage
on both of two groups,which is have
most more Change the verb form
have
then
50% Replace the word
than
percent
.
Change the spelling
per cent
On the other hand
, except
the most Change preposition
besides
comman
Correct your spelling
common
factors
which make people
happay
,there Correct your spelling
happy
have
other different Verb problem
are
thing
Change the wording
things
attract
different Correct pronoun usage
that attract
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
people
. It is
significantly Unnecessary verb
apply
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
haveing
a good Correct your spelling
having
appearence
, travelling,and other Correct your spelling
appearance
factors
are the remaining there factors
, all of those three factors
are under 20%, with respective percentage
is 18%,15%,Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
14
% Correct word choice
and 14
about
Change preposition
for
pepel
under 30. For Correct your spelling
people
aged
over 30, financial security Correct pronoun usage
those aged
are
the third conman Change the verb form
is
things
which could happy them, exactly Fix the agreement mistake
thing
get
20%.Being with Verb problem
apply
Correct your spelling
family
familly
and other Correct your spelling
family
factors
get the remaining small proportion which are
under 20%, with Change the verb form
is
the
roughly Correct article usage
apply
is
14% and 10%Unnecessary verb
apply
Submitted by chunyanh502 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, factors, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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