The pie chart compares the reasons for happiness between the two age groups people.

#happiness #two #age #groups #people

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It is clear that

Linking Words

doning

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doing

donning

hobbies and

achievement

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achievements

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at work makes both two groups feel happier ,

while

Linking Words

there are other

factors

Use synonyms

affect

Correct pronoun usage

that affect

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what makes

people

Use synonyms

feel happy. Looking at the charts, the happiest thing for

people

Use synonyms

is acquiring achievement at work ,

people

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aged over 30 are 32%, and

people

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under 30 are 31%.The second thing which can make

people

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feel happy is doing hobbies. Comparing the

people

Use synonyms

which is over 30 years of age with

people

Use synonyms

under 30, those two groups

people

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only have a small gap

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the proportion, with the percentage

apply

Wrong verb form

applied

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under 30 ages is 22%,

then

Linking Words

the other group

apply

Wrong verb form

applied

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percentage is 24%, Doing hobbies and achievement at work have the majority percentage on both of two groups

Remove the comma

apply

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and there gross figures are almost over 50%.

On the other hand

Linking Words

besides

Linking Words

the most commendable

factors

Use synonyms

which make

people

Use synonyms

happy ,there

have

Verb problem

are

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other different things

attract

Correct pronoun usage

that attract

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different

age

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ages

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people

Use synonyms

. It

apply

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applies

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significantly shows having a good appearance, travelling, and other

factors

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are the remaining there

factors

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, all of those three

factors

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are under 20%, with respective percentages is 18%,15%,

Correct word choice

and 14

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% for

people

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under 30. For those

people

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aged over 30, financial security is the third conman thing which could happy them, exactly

apply

Verb problem

apply

show examples

20%.Being with family and other

factors

Use synonyms

get the remaining small proportion which is under 20%, with

apply

Verb problem

apply

show examples

roughly 14% and 10%

Submitted by chunyanh502 on Tue Nov 12 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words factors, people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

226 words

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The pie chart compares the reasons for happiness between the two age groups people.

These days, in many counties fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas, while others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The recent back-and-forth debate and policy reversal over the use of face masks to prevent the spread of Covid-19. What is your opinion? are you for or against wearing face mask? Why?

In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?