In some countries, governments try to measure and improve the happiness of their population in a similar way to how economic growth has traditionally been measured and prioritised. To what extent do you agree with this newer approach? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, there
many
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are many
show examples
factors influencing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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happiness, not only economics.
Nevertheless
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, the economy seems the most important in the current society. In my opinion, there
others
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are others
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most important,
for instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mental
health
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, physical
health
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,
as well as
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spiritual
health
Use synonyms
.
First,
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about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental
health
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is important
keep
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to keep
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goals in
our
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your
show examples
job and in
the
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your
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personal
live
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lives
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,
therefore
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when you take care
your
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of your
show examples
mind and you are able to separate your responsibilities and
you
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your
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free time,
as a
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result
Add the comma(s)
result,
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you
could
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can
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spend your free time enjoying your hobbies or with your family.
On the other hand
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, I believe is essential
work
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to work
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out, to enjoy
a
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apply
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good
healthy
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health
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,
Correct word choice
and avoiding
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avoiding
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avoid
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illness.
That is
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related
with
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to
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having a good diet because we have to know that we intake
everyday
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every day
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.
Finally
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,
other
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another
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important factor is spiritual
health
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and that
include
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includes
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helping
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help
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from other people. There are many investigations
show
Correct pronoun usage
that show
show examples
the happiness related
with
Change preposition
to
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the satisfaction to help.
Overall
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, If the
Goverment
Correct your spelling
government
try
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tries
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to measure
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness, they take into account other factors
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
mental, physical and spiritual
health
Use synonyms
.

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introduction improvement
Expand the introduction to provide a clearer background of the issue and outline your stance more explicitly.
idea development
Ensure each main idea is thoroughly developed with clear reasoning. For example, elaborate on how specific factors besides the economy influence happiness.
use examples
Provide specific examples or experiences to strengthen and illustrate your points.
conclusion enhancement
Add a more complete conclusion to summarize the main points discussed and restate your perspective.
range of ideas
The essay identifies multiple factors beyond economics influencing happiness, showcasing a good range of ideas.
logical flow
Each main point is introduced and generally supported with some reasoning, indicating a logical flow to the essay.
topic understanding
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic, with attempts to explain the importance of mental, physical, and spiritual health.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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