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More and more parents are deciding to educate their children at home rather than sending them to schools. What are the causes of this phenomenon? A Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#parents #children #home #schools #phenomenon #do #development
Increasingly, many parents prefer to teach their children lessons at
home
, than rather using
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school education resources.
This
 essay will prove the negative sides of
this
 phenomenon. There are too many situations, where children are educated at
home
instead
 of going to school,
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 lessons with professional teachers and spending time with their peers. The major reason why adults do
that is
 doubts about the concentration of
students
 on the main thing — getting a good education without foreign objects, which are able to distract them, but they don’t take into account children’s development process in society.
For example
, falling behind peers can lead to isolation and the lack of ability to express themselves. Adults are wrong, if they think that at
home
students
 will be more educated than in schools. They may worry about their little
ones
Change noun form
ones'
one's
show examples
 motivation, focus and ability, but exactly these qualities are revealed in the company of the same children. At
schools
Add a comma
schools,
show examples
 there are a lot of
students
 with a different mindset and mentality. From the collision of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
various
opinions
Add a comma
opinions,
show examples
 healthy competition is born.
For example
, every institution has developmental courses
such
 as
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
sections
, debate
sections
, art
sections
, music
sections
 etc.
This
 allows
students
 to show their abilities and advantages that they are not able to acquire at
home
. In conclusion, It's better for a pupil to be in their proper place and study in areas that are specialized for them, which provide essential mental and physical development.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on your arguments more fully, providing additional supporting details and examples to reinforce your viewpoint. This will help strengthen your overall task response.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures and using transitional phrases more effectively to enhance logical flow within and between paragraphs. This will improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument effectively.
task achievement
You effectively addressed the task by discussing both the causes and your viewpoint on the development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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