You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages? Write at least 250 words.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Since healthcare is considered a basic need, some people opt to attend
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
medical needs in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
private
health
companies which require too much funds. I believe that it provides more positive
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
than its drawbacks. On the one hand, one of the negative issues about privately-owned
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
is
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
expensiveness
Replace the word
expense
show examples
.
Therefore
,
patients
are required to pay more compared to public hospitals.
For instance
, the time when I had my blood test checked, I tried having it done in a public
health
institution,
however
, the amount I
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
was lesser than that of a private clinic. So, when getting your
health
monitored in a private medical building, it is expected to prepare additional money.
On the contrary
, private
health
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
have more advanced machines and technologies, since it is privately funded,
patients
are able to access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a newly purchased machines
Correct the article-noun agreement
a newly purchased machine
newly purchased machines
show examples
used for medical purposes.
Moreover
, these
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
do not need to get
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
approval from
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
in order to acquire
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diagnostic machines.
For instance
,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
new version of CT Scan, in the Philippines most of the time, it is the private hospitals that can have
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
at first.
Therefore
, it is more advantageous to have your body
health
checked in private clinics.
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
this
type of
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
show examples
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
equal and appropriate services. Unlike in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public medical
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
where
patients
are usually disregarded, they provide attention and care quickly.
For example
,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
healthcare system in the Philippines, most of the government hospitals require each
patients
Change to a singular noun
patient
show examples
to wait for a long time because of staff insufficiency.
Furthermore
, some of the admitted
patients
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
need quick assistance
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to stand still and wait for the medical staff who's attending
another
Change preposition
to another
show examples
patient's concern.
Thus
, the patient-medical staff ratio in a private
health
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
is reasonable. In conclusion,
although
private
health
sectors give costly medical tests and measures, I believe that there are more benefits in choosing these
health
institutions
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
aside from its new technologies,
patients
can
also
receive
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
excellent healthcare services.
Submitted by cng123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that each argument is clearly developed and supported with detailed explanations or examples.
language use
Improve grammatical accuracy and try to vary sentence structures to enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking ideas more smoothly to create a better flow throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Good structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, each paragraph addresses a separate idea.
task achievement
The essay stays focused on the topic and presents relevant specific examples to support the points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic necessity
  • private companies
  • costly
  • ordinary individuals
  • specialized services
  • resource constraints
  • advanced facilities
  • state-of-the-art technology
  • health outcomes
  • alleviate pressure
  • wait times
  • innovation
  • competitive advantages
  • invest
  • new technologies
  • treatments
  • inequality
  • access to services
  • afford
  • financial strain
  • medical bankruptcy
  • sufficient insurance
  • well-resourced
  • predominance
  • neglect
  • universal healthcare goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: