You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many people today choose to take part in extreme sports (e.g. skydiving, rock climbing). Why do you think people want to do these sports? Who do you think should pay if people injure themselves while doing an extreme sport? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience Write at least 250 words

Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
,many people choose to
practice
extreme
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
like skydiving or rock climbing.In my opinion ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humans choose these
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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because they have a lot of adrenaline or other opinion is as today exist many
decives
Correct your spelling
deceives
devices
and things which can help these
sports
to be
more
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apply
show examples
easier and
more
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apply
show examples
safier
Correct your spelling
safer
.
Moreover
,for a lot of
individuals
Add a comma
individuals,
show examples
these
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
are
job
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jobs
show examples
from
they
Correct pronoun usage
which they
show examples
win
Verb problem
earn
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money for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
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lives
show examples
. One reason , why many people choose to
practice
extreme
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
like skydiving or rock climbing is the thrill and sense of accomplishment that these activities provide.Extreme
sports
often can help you to overcome
yout
Correct your spelling
your
fears or to improve your mindset.After you achieve something from these ,you feel a profound feeling of achievement.
In addition
,every extreme
sports
Change to a singular noun
sport
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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safer
Correct pronoun usage
it safer
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on
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for
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you and your powers,and in these extreme
moments
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moments,
show examples
you eliminate a strong power which can help you
to
Verb problem
apply
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achieve your goal.
For example
,a person who practices skydiving may be motivated by
challenge
Add an article
the challenge
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of
conronting
Correct your spelling
confronting
the fear of heights ,which brings them a sense of personal victory . In my view , the cost of injuries must be supported by the people who choose to
practice
Correct your spelling
practise
show examples
these
sports
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
in these
sports
they have
responsabilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
as all will be good without injuries .From
this
situation exist many
insurce
Correct your spelling
insurance
which you paid in every month or every year .
This
insurce
Correct your spelling
insurance
ensure
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensures
show examples
every
injuires
Correct your spelling
injury
or health
prombles
Correct your spelling
problem
from your
live
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life
show examples
and
paid
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pays
show examples
for treatment .
For instance
,a man who
practice
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practices
show examples
rock climbing is liable to injury ,
from
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in
show examples
this
case every man who
practice
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practices
show examples
extreme
sport
must have
insuce
Correct your spelling
insurance
,which
paid
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pays
show examples
for every treatment.
To sum up
,every person who
practice
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practices
show examples
extreme
sports
is
Add an article
a challenge
show examples
challenge
Wrong verb form
challenged
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to pass their fears ,but everyone has
responsabilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
because
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
these
sports
is very easy to
injury
Replace the word
injured
show examples
,from
this
problem
Add a comma
problem,
show examples
you must be very attentive at every pass and thanks to
attentive
Replace the word
attention
show examples
you
succes
Correct your spelling
succeed
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
passed every
fears
Change to a singular noun
fear
show examples
.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving clarity by reviewing sentence structure and grammar to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Make sure there is a clear introduction and conclusion, which neatly ties your ideas together.
task achievement
Ensure that each point made is fully developed and supported by examples or explanations.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies reasons why people engage in extreme sports, such as the adrenaline rush and the personal challenge.
coherence cohesion
The argument that individuals are responsible for their own injuries is logically presented.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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