Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#sports #sky

Many

people

have hobbies for extreme

sports

. They enjoy a

lot

of extreme

sports

for example

, skydiving and skiing. In my opinion, it should not be banned. On the one hand, most

people

enjoy extreme

sports

In addition

, many

people

have hobbies for extreme

sports

like skydiving and skiing. They enjoy a

lot

, and they have a

lot

of fun. All extreme

sports

are dangerous, but they have a

lot

to enjoy.

For

this

reason,

people

can take danger and have fun.

People

say no

risk

, no gain. They think if they do not take any

risk

, they will miss enjoying it. Many

people

say

life

means

risk

, so we should take

risks

and enjoy

life

. Because

life

is very short, we should take

risks

and gain experience.

On the other hand

, it should be banned because

people

take

risks

and they will fall into danger. Always being risky is not good for

life

. Because if they do not live, they cannot enjoy their

life

a second time.

People

should take

trains

Wrong verb form

training

show examples

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

well-trained trainers and

then

enjoy extreme

sports

. Extreme

sports

are not good for some

people

who have heart diseases

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

brain problems and

blood

Correct word choice

high blood

show examples

pressure patients. It sometimes creates bad situations, and sometimes

people

die for taking

risks

. In conclusion, extreme

sports

are always not good for health. It can create the worst situation.

However

people

do not want to deprive themselves of enjoyment and fun. So I think it should not be banned, but

people

should

train

Wrong verb form

be trained

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

well-trained trainers. Without training, they should not take any

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on Tue Nov 12 2024

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task achievement

Try to integrate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will enhance the depth and richness of your task response, making it more convincing to the reader.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow between your ideas. Make sure that each idea is logically linked to the next to increase the coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present, guiding the reader effectively through your essay.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear standpoint on whether extreme sports should be banned, showcasing a reasonable task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

adrenaline rush
risk threshold
thrill-seeking
safety protocols
hazard assessment
adventure tourism
regulatory framework
personal autonomy
informed consent
risk mitigation strategies
thrill-seeking behavior
protective gear
extreme athleticism
freedom of choice
accident prevalence
emergency response
courage and resilience
endorphin release
legal implications
peer pressure effects

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Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that is better to get advice from old people compared to young people. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some people think it’s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people think that the sense of competition in children should be encouraged. other bbelieve that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. discuss both views and give opinion.