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Band 5.5

Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama, and creative writing ‎are an essential part of education, and every school should include them in its ‎syllabus. Do you agree or disagree with your statement? Give your opinion ‎and examples from your own experience.‎

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Art
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subjects
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 are now considered
as
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apply
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an important part of education, and some accounts believe that every institution should arrange
art
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 in the academic syllabus. In my opinion, I agree with
this
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 notion, as it may provide
students
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a
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with a
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wider range of skills and knowledge. The implementation of
art
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subjects
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 can impart artistic understanding to
student
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the student
a student
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, helping them discover their hidden
potentials
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potential
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.
Subjects
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 like music, drama and creative writing convey
the
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apply
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knowledge beyond academic courses, which provides a stage for student to explore their interests, and at the same time, incentivize their creativity.
For example
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,
students
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 who do not excel in academic performance could find these
subjects
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 inspiring, as they can seek
for
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apply
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new opportunities in a different field.
Furthermore
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,
students
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 can consider these
art
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 professions as their future goal and become artists, musicians or even plot writers.
On the other hand
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, if schools do not provide
art
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subjects
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 for
students
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, they could
loss
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lose
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 the chance to discover what they love, leaving regret in their
school
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 life.
In addition
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,
art
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subjects
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 can help
students
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 lessen the strain from the heavy
works
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work
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 in
school
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, maintaining
them
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their
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 mental health.
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While
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Students
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students
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 today often suffer from the stress and anxiety from
the
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apply
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schooling
such
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 as regular exams and daily
assignment
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assignments
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.
Therefore
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, participating in
art
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 lessons could effectively assist
students
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 to relieve
from
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apply
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pressure, as
art
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subjects
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 are usually less
damanding
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demanding
 but more entertaining.
Also
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,
art
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subjects
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 encourage
students
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 to show their own style and imagination, which could give them a break from
the
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apply
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real-world pressure.
Nevertheless
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,
art
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subjects
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 could
also
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 make
students
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 distracted from their
school
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, probably leading to
a
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apply
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worse academic performance. In conclusion, I firmly agree with the concept of launching
art
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subjects
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 in
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school's
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the school's
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 syllabus.
This
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 policy could greatly motivate
students
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 to explore other aspects of expertise, and
also
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 help
students
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 to relieve from burdensome tasks from
school
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.
Although
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this
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 implementation could drive
students
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into
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distraction
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distracted
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of
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by
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 exams, I still believe
this
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 is an advantageous policy for all
the
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apply
show examples
students
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will give more weight to your points and demonstrate their real-world relevance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph logically flows into the next. Consider using linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion of art in education.
task achievement
Ideas are clearly expressed, and the main points are well supported, contributing to a thorough discussion of the topic.
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