Today more people than ever are travelling around the world. Some people believe thet such travelling helps to broaden people's minds, while others think people should be encouraged to fully explore their own country before travelling overseas. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, global
travel
is spread among people
more than in the past. While
it is suggested by some individuals that travelling internationally broadens one's perspective by facing cultural diversity, others believe that people
should first focus on exploring their own country
to become familiar with its heritage completely. Both
perspectives have valid points, but I believe a combination of local and international travel
offers the most substantial benefits.
On the one hand, some people
justifiably argue that travelling to other countries provides an opportunity that people
can learn by experiencing different cultures. Since people
during foreign travel
are exposed to various customs, languages and traditions, their sense of empathy and understanding are more fostered toward others. For instance
, visiting undeveloped countries that are concerned with environmental crises, such
as Kenya and Somalia, can motivate them to behave more responsibly about their environment. Additionally
, international travel
enhances adaptability, as it often navigation new environments, handles unexpected situations and overcomes language barriers. Such
invaluable experiences are beneficial in developing resilience and independence.
On the other hand
, another group of people
claim that people
should be motivated to explore their own country
before foreign countries. Travelling over the home country
before a foreign country
leads to gaining a deep understanding of history, culture and national landscape. For example
, in a country
as geographically and culturally diverse as India travelling within its borders allows individuals to witness an incredible range of languages, traditions and ecosystems without ever crossing a national boundary. Furthermore
, domestic travel
supports local economies and can help preserve cultural heritage sites by raising awareness of their importance among citizens.
In my opinion, both
local and international travel
have unique advantages that contribute to personal growth, and a balance between the two is ideal. Exploring one’s own country
provides a foundational understanding of cultural identity and a respect for national heritage while
travelling abroad expands that understanding by introducing new perspectives and broadening the mind. For instance
, a person who has both
visited rural areas in their own country
and explored urban centres abroad may develop a well-rounded perspective on both
local and global issues, which can be valuable in today’s interconnected world.
In conclusion, while
exploring one’s home country
has undeniable benefits, particularly in fostering national pride and supporting local economies, international travel
offers unparalleled opportunities to gain a global outlook. Encouraging people
to engage in both
types of travel
can lead to more open-minded, informed, and adaptable individuals who appreciate the richness of both
local and global cultures.Submitted by neginteymourzadeh on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance the essay, consider integrating stronger linking phrases between some points to further improve flow.
Task Achievement
Although your examples are relevant and effective, try to integrate more diverse examples to illustrate different aspects of the topic.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a well-rounded view, considering both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion.
Task Achievement
Supporting examples and points are well-elaborated, making the arguments persuasive and concrete.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is logical and clear with a distinct introduction and conclusion, creating a smooth reading experience.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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