IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people think that it will be one of the best ways to solve the environment problems to increase the cost of fuel for car and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #environment #cost #fuel #car #vehicles
In order to solve the
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problems, it takes a lot of
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
, that
people
 should make. The amount of
spended
Correct your spelling
spent
show examples
 fuel is increased with every year, and there
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
must be a solution, to preserve consequences, particularly gasoline waste released into the atmosphere.
Firstly
, it would be recommended to conduct an advertising campaign to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature from gasoline emissions, which could help reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumption. The promotion of electric cars allows that campaign
be
Add the particle
to be
show examples
 liquid, if
ones
Replace the word
one
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 widespread, it will be especially effective considering
costs
Correct article usage
the costs
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity, that much cheaper than
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
gas.
Secondly
, because
switch
Wrong verb form
switching
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new kind of fuel might be expensive, there are some flaws, which is that
people
 could not be so
willingly
Change the word
willing
show examples
 to switch to a different type of fuel, even taking into account a cheaper price.
People
 will be ready to change their vehicle as soon as they have the required amount of money, to acquire a new electric car, or if it is possible, move around the city they live in on a bike or a vehicle,
that is
 non-poisonous.
Thus
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problems, in partuclar air pollution and related
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
problems, could be solved outgoing the amount of
people
 who are ready to refuse
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their gasoline cars,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is beneficial for the environment, and
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 wellness.
Submitted by fruitextract on

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay consistently addresses the prompt's question by clearly stating to what extent you agree or disagree with raising fuel costs as a solution.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of ideas by focusing on more specific examples and reasoning, rather than broad generalizations.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring the essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that guide the reader logically from one point to another.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges the complexity of environmental problems and brings up the concept of electric cars as a potential solution.
task achievement
Attempts to offer solutions and suggestions, such as an advertising campaign and promoting electric vehicles.
coherence cohesion
There is an effort to address multiple sides of the argument, providing both solutions and potential barriers to those solutions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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