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Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts below show the avarege persantages in typical meals of three type of nutrients, all of which be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below show the avarege persantages in typical meals of three type of nutrients, all of which be unhealthy if eaten too much.
The pie chart illustrates the proportion in typical food of three
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
nutrients
Use synonyms
, all of which might be unuseful for health if overeaten. We can see that dinner and lunch
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
 the highest percentages of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat
while
Linking Words
 breakfast and lunch consistently
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the lowest percentage of
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
sugar
Use synonyms
nutrients
Use synonyms
 Dinner has the highest percentage of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat at 43% and 37% respectively large is the second-high
contriouton
Correct your spelling
contribution
 of these
nutrients
Use synonyms
 with 29% of
sodium
Use synonyms
 26% of saturated fat and 19%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
sugar
Use synonyms
 Breakfast at
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 percentages for all three
nutrients
Use synonyms
. 14% of
sodium
Use synonyms
 16% saturated fat and again the same
presentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
added
sugar
Use synonyms
 16%. For added
sugar
Use synonyms
 snakes are the largest contributor accounting for 42% of the total intake.
In saturated
Change preposition
Saturated
show examples
 fat was 21% and the lowest proportion of
sodium
Use synonyms
14
Add a missing verb
was 14
show examples
%

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words nutrients, sodium, sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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