The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows distribution of Aaustralian water consumption for last year
The bar chart illustrates a summary of
water
consumption
in six different cities in Australia during a year, with the average number of how much kilolitres
of water
used per property. In detail, a pie chart supported the data
with the proportion of water
used in different sectors.
Overall
, Perth City is a
first place Correct article usage
apply
of
the most plenty of Change preposition
for
water
used in 2014, Moreover
, statistical data
displayed that the agriculture sector
used more than half of water
supply in Correct article usage
the water
overall
consumption
.
To begin
, People in Perth used almost 300 kilolitres
of water
per property in 2014, followed by Brisbane with 250 kilolitres
of water
used in the second place. in particular
, Adelaide has similar water
consumption
to Brisbane, while
Sydney only uses 200 kilolitres
of water
. The data
also
showed that the Melbourn and Canberra people used a smaller number of water
than other cities.
Second,
statistical data
that are presented in a pie chart, depicted water
consumption
in 7 different sectors. Interestingly, the agriculture sector
dominated the presentation by using more than half of the water
supply in Australia, during the year 2014. On the other hand
, the mining sector
only used 2% of water
. while
,
manufacturing and other industries Remove the comma
apply
sector
share the same portion which is only 4%.
To summarize, various cities use different amounts of water
in a year. However
, data
showed that Perth City is in the first place. Agriculture highly relies on the water
supply to support their business.Submitted by putri on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, consumption, kilolitres, data, sector with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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