It’s important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What sort of punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

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It is essential to teach
children
to distinguish between what is right and what is wrong from their childhood.
While
,some people believe that the only way to solve
this
complex matter is using a
punishment
system, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
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it isn't the best solution and might have a negative impact on
children
and other systems like learning by education would be more beneficial.
One
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On
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one
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the one
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hand,
punichment
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punishment
punishments
have
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has
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defferent
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different
meaning
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meanings
show examples
among people.Some parents use a method that
restrict
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restricts
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their
child
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children
show examples
from using technologies like mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
and tv as a
punishment
for their bad attitudes
while
, others
belief
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believe
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of
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in
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punishment
,
might
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which might
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be beating the
children
.Based on these
difference
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differences
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,
such
a path for learning good from bad
would'nt
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wouldn't
be
appropriate
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an appropriate
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direction for
this
matter.
Morover
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Moreover
, there have been
enormouse
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enormous
researches that
proof
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prove
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negative
methodes
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methods
for instance
punishment
or limiting
youngers
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younger
show examples
have mostly negative
effect
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effects
show examples
and would result
to
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in
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making them bolder and more
aggresive
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aggressive
.Based on
pyschologists
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psychologists
these opposite reactions sometimes would lead to major conflicts that are out of control. I believe there are surely
another
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other
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methods without getting
aggitated
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agitated
.One of the most effective ways is relying more on
educational
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the educational
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system to handle
this
delicate problem.
Chidren
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Children
who go to
kindergarden
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kindergarten
from early age
has
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apply
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gain
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gained
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social skills from interaction with other
children
and their
teachears
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teachers
.Skills that they obtain daily
while
playing and making crafts with their teammates with
teacher's
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the teacher's
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supirvision
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supervision
make them more
emphatice
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emphatic
and
symphatic
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sympathetic
toward others and obligate them to behave better in order to prevent hurting their classmates which in the process of growing up and navigating new
inviornment
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environment
environments
is a
neccesity
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necessity
for understanding these types of distinction. In
convlusion
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conclusion
,punishing
children
to behave better as they grow up usually has
worse
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a worse
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impact and there are some other
technices
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techniques
like letting them
to
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apply
show examples
interact with people and observing their connection to nature and humans contribute to long-term success
to become
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in becoming
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better
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a better
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person
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people
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.
Submitted by seshat.29.m on

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Use clear examples that are closely related to your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grouping and linking information more effectively to improve logical flow.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that ideas and arguments are more explicitly connected within and between paragraphs.
introduction & conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, establishing the main argument well.
logical structure
The essay attempts to present different perspectives on the use of punishment.
complete response
The topic of children's learning and punishment is addressed with a personal viewpoint.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral development
  • social consequences
  • disciplinary methods
  • positive reinforcement
  • natural consequences
  • corporal punishment
  • empathy
  • parent-child relationship
  • trust and communication
  • responsible behavior
  • deterrent effect
  • psychological impact
  • excessive punishment
  • constructive discipline
  • societal attitudes
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