Many manufactured food and drink products contain hogh levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree.
Most of the tin-packed
products
have high sugar
contents, which is affecting the health of the people
, so increasing the price of such
foods and drinks
may limit their use. I strongly disagree with this
statement , because, increasing
Add an article
the increasing
cost
will not affect the public, they will still buy Fix the agreement mistake
costs
such
products
. Secondly
, other local companies may start producing alternative drinks
. I will explain my opinion with examples.
The foremost reason for disagreeing with the statement is that,
Remove the comma
apply
majority
of the Correct article usage
the majority
people
, buying such
products
, are usually from the upper to middle classes, so they will keep buying such
drinks
. People
will keep purchasing these products
even if their costs are too high, this
is due to
their dependency on such
drinks
. To illustrate, A study was conducted in Pakistan in 2012, due to
rapid
surge of oral cancer in the young generation, they found out cigarette smoking was the main culprit behind oral cancer, so Correct article usage
the rapid
government
, raised the price of cigarettes to lower the rates of cancer, Correct article usage
the government
however
, they failed, because people
were still buying cigarettes, as they were dependent on them.
Furthermore
, if the rates of sugary foods are raised, so the
local companies will start producing, like-wise Correct article usage
apply
products
in less amount
and they may have more Fix the agreement mistake
fewer amounts
sugar
in them. For instance
, in India, Pepsi drink was one of the most sold products
in last
15 years, Correct article usage
the last
however
, due to
some reasons, its import was banned for 01 month, however
, local industries started producing alternative drinks
, with similar colour and taste, but when food regulatory authority inspected this
drink, they discovered, that this
drink had similar 35 times more sugar
in it and was unhealthy.
To conclude
, sugar
-based products
are dangerous for the
Correct article usage
apply
people
, as this
increases heart disease and causes obesity, but increasing the price of foods that have sugar
will not stop people
from buying them.Submitted by dr.tehreemk on
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task achievement
Consider providing a balanced view by acknowledging some merits of increasing prices of sugary foods, even if you disagree overall.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument to maintain logical structure and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Include clear signposting phrases to improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introductory paragraph and a conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
The use of examples to illustrate points helps clarify your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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