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Band 5

Some people think frequent short vacations are good while others argue that long term locations are helpful.discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both and give opinion.

#people #vacations #term #locations
The contemporary world has put a lot of pressure on people when works are associated.
Thus
, either short-term or long-term
vacations
 are necessary factors to refresh and boost employees' energy to be productive.
Although
 a long-term holiday is more popular, in my opinion, a shorter one is a better option because it can be taken more often than a long period vacation. Many choose to require days off for a long-term vacation
due to
 a longer time to travel.
This
 option allows individuals to relax more and release stress from work without worrying about going back to their duties in a short period.
For instance
, they can dig deep into what they are interested in and have a
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 adventurous trip.
Nevertheless
, a long trip can consume a lot more financial support compared to a shorter one. The other group, including me, prefers to have several short
vacations
 annually. To balance their work life and private life coherently, re-energising themselves more often can motivate them to work with more contentment because they have been relaxed consistently.
Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
 every three to four months for me,
for example
, had a good drive to contribute my concentration on
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and produce
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 products because my strains were not restrained in my brain and damaged my mental health.
However
,
someone
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
 believe that short
vacations
 are unlikely to give them adequate satisfaction because of limited activities that can be done.
Overall
, both long and
short term
Add a hyphen
short-term
show examples
 holidays' benefits and drawbacks
depend
Change the form of the verb
depending
show examples
 on each person's condition. Despite the fact that long-term
vacations
 are most likely to be voted, I prefer to take
a small times
Correct the article-noun agreement
a small time
small times
show examples
 of short-term ones to re-boost my motivation on
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Submitted by djruby19 on

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task achievement
Expand on your main points with more specific examples and details to enhance your arguments. This will help in achieving a higher score in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more logically. Although you do follow a clear progression, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point supported by evidence or examples directly related to your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your essay well. This strengthens the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
You've nicely addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a complete response to the task.
task achievement
Your writing shows good grammatical variety and some sophisticated vocabulary, which enhances the overall quality of your response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • frequent short vacations
  • long-term vacations
  • mental health
  • burnout
  • cost-effectiveness
  • flexibility
  • exploration
  • travel fatigue
  • cumulative transportation costs
  • deep relaxation
  • immersive experience
  • comprehensive planning
  • hassles
  • disruptive
  • reintegration
  • professional setbacks
  • homesickness
  • familiar surroundings
  • balanced approach
  • individual preferences
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