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Band 4

Theplansbelowshowthelayoutofauniversity'ssportscentrenow,andhow It will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#theplansbelowshowthelayoutofauniversity #ssportscentrenow #andhow #redevelopment #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The top diagram represents the plan
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a university’s
sports
 centre in
precent
Correct your spelling
recent
 days. Directly below , are the expected growth and the modifications for the same
map
 in the future .
Overall
, there are several things that will remain stable over a period of time which are Seating, Reception , the
pool
 in the middle of the
map
 , and the changing room,
as well as
, there are many facilities
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
show examples
 be built in the future . First of all , as we perspective in the future planned east the
map
 , the two dance studios are beside each other with an entrance for each of them, In front of the Dance studio , there is the
Sports
 hall . Directly above the
sports
 hall, there is the Gym which will be expanded over a period of time. In the southeast, a new changing room and Cafe will be constructed .
Moreover
, in the west of the
map
Add a comma
map,
show examples
 there are outdoor courts which will be replaced by a huge
pool
 called the Leisure
pool
. Below the Leisure
pool
, specifically in the southwest, there will be the Changing room and
Sports
 shop.
Submitted by anasepic.9999 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider including a clearer introduction and conclusion to give your essay a more complete structure. This helps guide the reader through your analysis.
task achievement
Try to ensure that all main points are clearly supported with specific details from the diagram. This can improve the clarity of your analysis.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure your ideas are conveyed clearly and accurately.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively outlines the main features and changes of the university sports centre, providing a clear comparison of present and future plans.
task achievement
There is a logical progression of ideas, moving from the existing layout to the future developments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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