Some people think the newly built houses should be the same as the old houses in local areas. Others argue that local authorities should allow people to build houses in their own styles. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Sample

It is often argued by
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
that when building a new
house
,
people
should design it
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
as other old houses in
Add an article
the neighborhood
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neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
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,
while
other
people
believe that
people
should be allowed to design their own
house
according to
their
wish
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wishes
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. Both sides of
this
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
are agreed and disagreed by many.
This
essay will thoroughly analyse and discuss both views before drawing a reasoned opinion.
Firstly
, many argue that building a new
house
similar to
existing
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the existing
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ones
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one
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will promote equality among the neighbours. If the government introduce
such
rules
then
the richer
people
will not be able to construct
the
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apply
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bigger houses.
For example
, in many developing cities, rich
people
builds
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build
show examples
big
appartments
Correct your spelling
apartments
which indirectly
affects
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affect
show examples
the poor
peoples
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people
show examples
.
Therefore
, if all
people
have
same
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the same
show examples
design of houses
then
it will promote equality in local areas.
On the other hand
, some
also
believe that the local authorities should give permission to the
people
for designing
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to design
show examples
their
house
however
they want and I completely agree with that notion. In my opinion, I believe that an individual should have
right
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the right
show examples
to construct their residence in their own way.
Although
,the government can enforce laws about
structure
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the structure
show examples
and floors of
house
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houses
show examples
but
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apply
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not designs.
For instance
,
people
are happy to follow various criteria to
built
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build
show examples
an
earthquake proof
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earthquake-proof
show examples
house
.
Thus
, building a new
house
similar to neighbours does not
makes
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make
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sense to me.
To conclude
, after thorough
analysation
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analysis
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of both sides of the
argument
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argument,
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I truly believe that
people
should have full
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
to decide about the designs and styles of their
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
.
However
, authorities can enforce
criterias
Correct your spelling
criteria
to ensure safety.
Submitted by ashmamrzn on

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task achievement
To improve the task achievement, try to incorporate more specific examples that vividly illustrate the points you are making. This will help in making your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim to enhance the logical flow between your points. Using a variety of linking words and phrases could help in smoothly transitioning between different parts of your essay.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This is effective for guiding the reader through your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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