IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think the newly built houses should be the same as the old houses in local areas. Others argue that local authorities should allow people to build houses in their own styles. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Sample

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It is often argued by
some
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apply
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that when building a new
house
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,
people
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 should design it
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 as other old houses in
Add an article
the neighborhood
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neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
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,
while
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 other
people
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 believe that
people
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 should be allowed to design their own
house
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according to
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 their
wish
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wishes
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. Both sides of
this
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arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
 are agreed and disagreed by many.
This
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 essay will thoroughly analyse and discuss both views before drawing a reasoned opinion.
Firstly
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, many argue that building a new
house
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 similar to
existing
Correct article usage
the existing
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ones
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one
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 will promote equality among the neighbours. If the government introduce
such
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 rules
then
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 the richer
people
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 will not be able to construct
the
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apply
show examples
bigger houses.
For example
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, in many developing cities, rich
people
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builds
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build
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 big
appartments
Correct your spelling
apartments
 which indirectly
affects
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affect
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 the poor
peoples
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people
show examples
.
Therefore
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, if all
people
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 have
same
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the same
show examples
 design of houses
then
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 it will promote equality in local areas.
On the other hand
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 , some
also
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 believe that the local authorities should give permission to the
people
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for designing
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to design
show examples
 their
house
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however
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 they want and I completely agree with that notion. In my opinion, I believe that an individual should have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to construct their residence in their own way.
Although
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,the government can enforce laws about
structure
Correct article usage
the structure
show examples
 and floors of
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house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
but
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apply
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not designs.
For instance
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,
people
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 are happy to follow various criteria to
built
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build
show examples
 an
earthquake proof
Add a hyphen
earthquake-proof
show examples
house
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.
Thus
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, building a new
house
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 similar to neighbours does not
makes
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make
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 sense to me.
To conclude
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, after thorough
analysation
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analysis
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 of both sides of the
argument
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argument,
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 I truly believe that
people
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 should have full
rights
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right
show examples
 to decide about the designs and styles of their
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house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
.
However
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, authorities can enforce
criterias
Correct your spelling
criteria
 to ensure safety.

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task achievement
To improve the task achievement, try to incorporate more specific examples that vividly illustrate the points you are making. This will help in making your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim to enhance the logical flow between your points. Using a variety of linking words and phrases could help in smoothly transitioning between different parts of your essay.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This is effective for guiding the reader through your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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