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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#years #people #e-books #paper #books
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In today’s society, the number of people choosing to read
ebooks
increases
Wrong verb form
has increased
show examples
 rapidly throughout the years.
This
 trend leads to the question
whether
Change preposition
of whether
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 the advantages of using
ebooks
 outweigh the disadvantages. I strongly believe that
e-book
Fix the agreement mistake
e-books
show examples
 should be seen as a positive development of technology. The design of
ebooks
 is based on efficiency and the effort to save the environment.
Ebooks
 are considered convenient and easy to carry around.
As a result
, the efficiency offered by
ebooks
 allows the reader to access the book anytime and anywhere.
Furthermore
, using
ebooks
also
helped
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
 to save the environment. The main material of paper books is paper that comes from
the
Correct article usage
a
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 tree,
whereas
ebooks
 are based on online platforms. Many studies show that the production of books
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
 damages the environment.
As a result
, most erosion in the forest was caused by illegal logging.
However
,
ebooks
 do have drawbacks.
By reading
Change preposition
Reading
show examples
 through
ebooks
 devices for a long time,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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might cause a long-term eye issue. Based on several studies, the screen that emits the lights triggers the damage
of
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to
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human’s
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human
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 vision. In that case, many readers have to use specific glasses to help their eyes adjust
with
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to
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 the screen light.
Hence
, to prevent
this
 effect, the readers should take a regular break during reading.
To conclude
,
although
 using
ebooks
 likely leads to long-term health problems, their advantages are still significant. I firmly believe using
ebooks
 is way better than paper books as it is convenient and environmentally friendly for the reader so it clearly outweighs the disadvantages.
Submitted by salwaputrihardiyan on

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content
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, especially the environmental benefits and the drawbacks regarding eye health.
organization
While your essay is generally coherent, you may enhance cohesion by using more varied linking words and phrases to seamlessly connect your points and paragraphs.
content
Clarify some points to improve the logical flow. For example, explain how e-books directly impact illegal logging more thoroughly.
organization
Your introduction clearly states your viewpoint and provides a concise overview of the essay content.
content
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, offering a balanced discussion which effectively addresses the prompt.
organization
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your stance on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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