The chart below provides information on the number of workers in various occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.

#information #workers #occupations #australia

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The bar graph illustrates data about the number of employees in 4 different majors who migrated to Australia from 2009 to 2012.

Overall

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it is clear that

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the aggregate of accountants was massively the topmost,

whereas

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, the total of computer programmers was enormously the least.

According to

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the information presented, the accountants in 2009 were nowhere near as astronomical as in 2010, with 20 compared to 28

thousand

Use synonyms

workers respectively,

however

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, in 2011, the accountants (22

thousand

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) were not quite as high as in 2012 (21

thousand

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Additionally

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, the cookers fluctuated all over the 4 years starting from 17

thousand

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and finished decreasingly by 16

thousand

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Besides

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, Software engineers were amazingly rising from 2009 (19) until 2011 (21),

on the other hand

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, the digit of workers reduced to 17

thousand

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in 2012.

In addition

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, computer programmers in 2009 were not as formidable as in 2005, with 2 against 5

thousand

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in order.

Submitted by bajahzar90 on Wed Nov 13 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words thousand with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

152 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Migration patterns
Occupation categories
Significant growth
Labor shortages
Booming industries
Visa regulations
Job market saturation
Economic downturns
Skill shortages
Economic contribution
Infrastructure pressure
Technological advancements
Global economic predictions
Policy changes

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The chart below provides information on the number of workers in various occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.

These dats people are using the internet for shopping, work and to communicate with others without the need for face to face meetings. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Modern people mostly stay at home rather than going outdoors. What are the reasons for this trend? Is this trend good or bad?

It must be a woman who stays at home to care for children. Men are not suited to this kind of work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

some believe studying alone is better and while some others believe group study is far good. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. to what extend do you agree or disagree?