IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

#businesses #budgets #promotion #people #gravitate #products
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Big and small Cities are made up of large and local
business
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businesses
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, and the bigger a
business
,
greater
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the greater
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is potential for growth and investment.
While
 the largest companies obtain the capital to invest in marketing and promotion and
hence
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
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they
Correct your spelling
the
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 chain, in the local
business
 it is a bit different.  Big budgets for marketing will pay for all the
advertasing
Correct your spelling
advertising
 that will be delivered to the customers in
positives
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positive
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 and
negatives
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negative
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 ways. The benefits
,
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apply
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 are ,
such
 as good deals that
arrives
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arrive
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 on
people
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people's
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 tables. On the other
hands
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hand
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, if the local store
do
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does
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 not get the same power of
investiments
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investment
 to promote the competition of low prices of goods, the consequences will be the monopoly of the Large
business
 in order to the lack of publicity of the competitor. As we can see, both sides lose out, both the consumer and the competitors who do not have the
budge
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budget
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 to invest in
informations
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information
pieces of information
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.
In other words
 ,The Law of
Suply
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supply
 could explain : that the higher the price of a given product, the more
sallers
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sellers
callers
 will be willing to sell their product, as
this
 will make more profit. The local economy will be affected as the
jobs
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job
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oportunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
. One of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
solution
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solutions
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 to change
this
 scenario
,
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apply
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 is that the
comunity
Correct your spelling
community
 should be aware that they need to help the site where they are living, consuming more from the shops.
In addition
, the
governament
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government
 should
creating
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create
be creating
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 programs to support
the
Correct article usage
apply
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small
business
 owners. who in turn must always look for
atractive
Correct your spelling
attractive
 ways to win over their customers.
Submitted by amandaoliveirastylist on

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure to include a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your main ideas neatly. This will provide a comprehensive view of your arguments.
relevant specific examples
Work on developing your ideas further with detailed explanations and specific examples to support your points, which will strengthen your arguments.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically connected with smooth transitions, enhancing the flow of the essay.
complete response
Your essay shows an understanding of the topic and you attempt to address both parts of the task effectively.
task achievement
You make an effort to discuss possible solutions, which enriches your response to the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-reliance
  • disrupts
  • entrepreneurship
  • economic diversity
  • monopolistic
  • financial power
  • homogenization
  • awareness campaigns
  • tax incentives
  • sustainability
  • artisan
  • eco-friendly
  • dominate
  • innovation
  • stifle
  • richness
  • cultures
  • traditions
  • highlighting
  • distinguish
  • superior
What to do next:
Look at other essays: