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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some would argue that
parents
Use synonyms
 are the most important influence
teaching
Change preposition
in teaching
show examples
 their
children
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 to be good citizens, because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 starts
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 home. Others
thing
Use the right word
think
show examples
 that the
school
Use synonyms
 is responsible
to teach
Change preposition
for teaching
show examples
children
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 because
teachers
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 have the function to educate them. I believe that
parents
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 have the responsibility to educate their
children
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 to be good citizens. The
school
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 just give instruction and the tools to
children
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 to grow in a
society
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. On one hand,
children
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’s
education
Use synonyms
 starts at home,
parents
Use synonyms
 are responsible
to give
Change preposition
for giving
show examples
 the necessary tools to their
children
Use synonyms
 to be good
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 of
society
Use synonyms
. The
firsts
Fix the agreement mistake
first
show examples
 years in the
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 of
children
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
parents
Punctuation problem
, parents
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 play an important role
to give
Change preposition
in giving
show examples
 them all the necessary
that
Check wording
skills that
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 they need to be
good
Punctuation problem
good,
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 respectful people, with good manners, to be polite. When I was a
child
Punctuation problem
child,
show examples
 my
parents
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 always
tough
Verb problem
taught
show examples
 me to have good
Use the right word
behaviour
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 when we
went
Verb problem
apply
show examples
visited friends or family. My father gave me
this
Linking Words
 advice
,
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 “Always be grateful and respectful with others
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the doors will be open for you”.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the function of the
school
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 is
giving
Wrong verb form
to give
show examples
 the necessary tools to
children
Use synonyms
 being instructed
people
Change preposition
by people
show examples
 to develop in
society
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. The job of the
teachers
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 is
teaching
Wrong verb form
to teach
show examples
 how to write, how to read,
how
Correct word choice
and how
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be
Verb problem
to be
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 reasonable people. Unfortunately, in many
under develop
Use the right word
underdeveloped
show examples
 countries,
teachers
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 apart
from
Change preposition
than
show examples
teach
Rephrase
just teach
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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 they play an important role
giving
Verb problem
in providing
show examples
contention
Check wording
content
show examples
 and
education
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. There are many schools for orphans where
teachers
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 teach and educate
children
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, and they do
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 best to help them
to be
Verb problem
become
show examples
 good members of
society
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. In conclusion,
children
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 will be good
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
, depending on the
education
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 given by their
parents
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 at home. The
school
Use synonyms
 just teach and
instruct
Correct subject-verb agreement
instructs
show examples
 for the
develop
Replace the word
development
show examples
 in
society
Use synonyms
.

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language
Use clear and easy words. Fix spelling and form errors like taught vs. tough, lived vs. live, under developed vs. developing.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like also, but, so, first, next, then.
structure
Make each paragraph have one idea. Start with a topic sentence. Then give a small example.
content
Explain your view in one line in the intro and repeat it in the conclusion.
content
The essay shows your view clearly and tries to compare home and school.
content
You give a real life example from family life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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