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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
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Some would argue that values and good manners should be taught by
parents
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 because
education
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 and principles should begin at home. Others think that the
school
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 is the place where
children
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 must learn how to behave in front of others because is the
work
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 of the teacher to do
this
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. I believe that
parents
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 have the function to teach their
children
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 to be good people and the
school
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 is the place to instruct them,
teachers
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 playing an important role in
this
Linking Words
. On the one hand,
education
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, values, and how to respect others are the primary roles of
parents
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. Home
education
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 is the base for
children
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 to become good members of society, giving them the opportunity to grow with the idea that good results in life require hard
work
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. In my case, my
parents
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 taught me to be a good person with values and principles, and that to have whatever I wanted, I needed to
work
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 and study. I am very grateful to my
parents
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 because, thanks to how they taught me, I am who I am.
On the other hand
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, many people think that
teachers
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 in
school
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 are in charge of the
education
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 of their
children
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.
Teachers
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 play an important role in instruction, giving support and advice and even helping
children
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 to be good members of society.
However
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, the main lessons of life start at home. During my years in
school
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, I had the privilege of having excellent
teachers
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 who gave me all the necessary skills to learn,
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work
Correct word choice
and work
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, and who have given me good advice on how to afford my studies.
This
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 is the job of
teachers
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, any other teaching is the
work
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 of
parents
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, teaching
children
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 to be good people is the role of
parents
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. Instructing and giving skills
for
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to
show examples
 the world is the teacher's job.
Submitted by daniruspi on

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coherence cohesion
Consider providing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance the logical flow of your argumentation.
task achievement
To strengthen your task response, ensure that both views are discussed with equal depth and that your opinion is clearly stated throughout the essay.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or evidence to support your points and make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion and overall argument.
task achievement
Your personal anecdotes and examples add a personal touch and credibility to your arguments, showing how theoretical ideas apply in real life.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow, with a good use of paragraphs to separate different aspects of the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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