In some areas of US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?
When curfew is imposed in a few locations in the United
State
young stars are not permitted to go out from home in a certain period at night without an adult. Fix the agreement mistake
States
This
essay will totally agree with this
statement because teenagers
will be safe and they can spend more time
with family members.
First of all, in
Change preposition
at
this
young age
Add a comma
age,
people
make a lot of mistakes and can’t control themselves. By using
accompanied by parents, if they go outside Verb problem
being
then
they can keep out from certain dangers like drug dealers. For example
, most of the time
drug dealer’s main targets are young people
who are easily convinced by
and can be a Change preposition
apply
long
Add a hyphen
long-time
time
customer
. In Fix the agreement mistake
customers
this
type of
Change preposition
apply
teenagers
can easily avoid, if they bring adults with them when they have to go outside at night.
Secondly
, teenagers
can spend more time
with their family members and can make strong bonding
. It is seen that in the teenage Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
people
normally try to hangout
with their friends, outside. But if they stay at home they can spend more quality Correct your spelling
hang out
time
and make strong bonding
. Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
For instance
, when young people
stay home with parents
and have some Correct pronoun usage
their parents
activity
like cooking, cleaning Fix the agreement mistake
activities
house
or watching movies together Correct article usage
the house
then
their mental attachment will be more
stronger.
In conclusion, in certain places in America, when curfew has been imposed Change the word
apply
then
teenagers
are only allowed to go out at night with a grownup person. I am totally agree
with Change the verb form
totally agree
this
statement because by
Change preposition
in
this
way they can stay safe and spend more time
with family members.Submitted by haidher301 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by clearly linking points and ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs. This will improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas further to ensure the main points are easy to follow. Consider using more varied sentence structures to express thoughts clearly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear outline of your opinion on the topic, contributing positively to the essay structure.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like the one about teenagers being targeted by drug dealers, effectively supports your main points and enhances task achievement.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!