IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph shows the demand for energy and the energy available for fossil fuels in Freedonia from 1985 to 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph shows the demand for energy and the energy available for fossil fuels in Freedonia from 1985 to 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#demand #energy #fuels #freedonia #report #university #lecturer #information
the line graph illustrates the
energy
demand
 and
availability
 in Freedonia between 1985 and 2005.
Overall
, at
glance
Add an article
a glance
show examples
, the
energy
demand
 fluctuated during the period,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
reaching
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak in 1995 and declining after that. the trend of
availability
 of
energy
 in Freedonia fluctuated and for the
ending
Add a comma
ending,
show examples
 the
availability
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 the highest peak by 2005. In 1985, the
energy
availability
 in Freedonia was approximately almost four
energy
units
,
besides
 that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ten years after the
availability
 of
energy
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 in 1995
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 seven
energy
units
.
However
, after the peak, the
availability
 of
energy
 faced
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 two
energy
units
 by 2000
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and remained stable at the of the period
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 seven
energy
units
.
In contrast
, the
energy
demand
 was approximately five
energy
units
 in 1985, and experienced
Correct article usage
a
show examples
decrease in 1990
about
Change preposition
to about
show examples
 two
energy
units
. In
Correct your spelling
addition
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, the
demand
 still remained stable at
this
 by 1995, and the
demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
energy
 increased and still
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 until the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
 around seven
Correct your spelling
energy
energi
Correct your spelling
energy
units
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, demand, availability, units with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!