IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

If a product is good and meets customer needs, then people will buy it, and advertising is unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

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The discussion over whether advertising is unnecessary if the
product
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 meets customer expectations. In my opinion, we cannot deny that good quality of the
product
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 can lead to the higher purchase of buyers.
However
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, I believe that the use of advertiser is still
the
Correct article usage
an
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 essential tool to promote their
products
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 widely. First of all,
the
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apply
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advertisements are
one
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 of the significant methods in commercialisation, as it is a way to raise awareness and bring the attention of customers to the
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brand
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brands
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 that are still unreached. Some
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brand
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brands
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that has
Wrong verb form
have
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 a huge number of good
products
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 but without
the
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apply
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realising
of
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apply
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people
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it
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apply
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becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
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 useless and disappointed.
Therefore
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,
by
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apply
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the
promote
Replace the word
promotion
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 of the advertisement in order to tell
people
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 about
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Correct article usage
the brand
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brand
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brand's
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 existence
as well as
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 the
products
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 that might be crucial to the
customers
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customer's
customers'
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need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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.
For example
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, the advertising of the perfume on online
platform
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platforms
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such
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 as YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, etc,
that
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apply
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might be useful for
people
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 who like to use the perfume as
one
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 of their cosmetic items.
In addition
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, using the celebrity or influencer as the
one
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 to promote the
brand
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’s production can
also
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 lead to
booming
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a booming
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 of
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brand’s
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the brand’s
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 reputation. The
products
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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promoted by well-known
people
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 can
gain
Verb problem
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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benefit from their fan
club
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clubs
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 as that
product
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 is
one
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 of the things that fans want to collect and the
brand
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 itself can
also
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 make a lot of profit from it, especially from the wealthy fans.
For instance
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, a TV star with a large fan base promoted a soft drink
product
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 on his TV show,
as a result
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, the
brand
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 has received a lot of attention and order from fans. In conclusion, I believe that the use of advertising is still important in terms of
commercial
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commercials
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 as it is
one
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 of the tools that can help the
brand
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 to present their
product
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 and might
also
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 meet a need of the buyers.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, single main idea to enhance coherence. Avoid merging different ideas into one paragraph.
Task Achievement
While your response covers the necessary aspects of the question, try providing more specific examples and details for a stronger supporting argument.
Language and Grammar
Pay attention to slight grammatical errors and word choice to enhance clarity and precision. Consider reviewing subject-verb agreement.
Structure
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument, and the conclusion neatly wraps up your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a logical structure in your essay, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both the importance of product quality and the role of advertising.
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