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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufactures in the years 2005 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. (20 mins.)

The table shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufactures in the years 2005 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. (20 mins.)
#market #phone #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons #mins
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The table illustrates the proportion of global market
share
 of the mobile phone for production between 2005 and 2006.
Overall
,
Nokia
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the largest market
share
 between 2005 and 2006, followed by
Motorola
 and Samsung,
BenQ
 Mobile had the lowest
share
. The
share
 of
Nokia
 was generally the outstanding highest number
amount
Correct your spelling
among
show examples
 all the other
companies
 in both years. The highest proportion of
share
Fix the agreement mistake
shares
show examples
 held by
Nokia
 with 32.5% in 2005
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by
Motorola
 and Samsung with 17.7% and 12.7% respectively. The
percentage
 of the
share
 in 2006
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Nokia
 and
Motorola
companies
, which resulted
to be
Verb problem
in
show examples
 35% of
Nokia
 sales in 2006 and 21.1%
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Motorola
.
However
,
while
 the other
companies
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased their
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
market
share
, the
percentage
 of Samsung
were drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 from 12.7% in 2005 to 11.8% in 2006. The lowest number of shares was
BenQ
 mobile with 4.9% in 2005, followed by Sony Ericsson and L.G with 6.3% and 6.7% respectively. The
percentage
 of L.G and
BenQ
companies
were continuing
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 to decline in 2006, which
resulted
Add the preposition
resulted in
resulted from
show examples
BenQ
 Mobile
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 about 2.9% of their proportion and L.G
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 6.3% in 2006. Constantly, the
percentage
 of Sony Ericsson
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased from 6.3% in 2005 to 7.4% in 2006.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words share, nokia, motorola, benq, companies, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
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