In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

Before
university
, some young humans who graduated high school, are encouraged to
work
or vocation. From my point of view,
people
who want to go to
university
can gain a lot of experience
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
life
.
This
essay will present that the
year
gives seeing new places or earning money for
university
,
however
, after the gap
year
some
people
do not want to come back to
education
and maybe they are thinking of losing time. In the gap
year
,
people
who want to go to
university
should
work
different jobs if they want a comfortable
education
life
.
This
is because of the fact that today
education
after high school is really expensive for many
people
.
On the other hand
, travelling can cause seeing new places.
As a result
of
this
, the view of
life
is changed.
According to
some surveys,
people
who travel around the world before
university
education
at 60% more successful than others.
This
illustrates to us that taking a rest before
university
is indeed one of the best ways to achieve goals.
On the other hand
, taking a rest before
university
can have some negative side effects for young
people
.
For instance
, if young
people
work
different jobs or take a vocation, they may
don't
Verb problem
not
show examples
want to go to
university
.
Moreover
, They will not reach their aims for future
life
. Even if
people
who want
take
Fix the infinitive
to take
show examples
university
education
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
lose their ambition to study, they may think of throwing away their time.
As a result
of
this
, they are really stressful all of their
life
.
To sum up
, In my opinion, young
people
should go
Change preposition
on vocation
show examples
vocation
Correct your spelling
vacation
show examples
or
work
a job that they want, before
university
.
This
is
due to
the fact that there are many economic and psychological pons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
it.
However
, there may be some cons to
this
gap
year
such
as lost
education
ambition and lost time.
Submitted by yito18750 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, pay attention to the transitions between sentences and paragraphs. While you have a clear introduction and conclusion, using linking words more effectively can help the essay flow more naturally and connect ideas better.
task achievement
For task achievement, your essay does cover the advantages and disadvantages, but try to support your points with more specific examples and data.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand the topic and your perspective from the start.
task achievement
You address both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced approach to the question.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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