IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows the demand for energy and the energy available for fossil fuels in Freedonia from 1985 to 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph shows the demand for energy and the energy available for fossil fuels in Freedonia from 1985 to 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#demand #energy #fuels #freedonia #report #university #lecturer #information
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph provides information about the requirement for electricity and the
energy
 available from fossil fuels in Freedonia between 1985 and 2005.
Overall
, it is evident that the
energy
 demand experienced a gradual decrease, before a slight increase,
while
 the
energy
 availability observed a rise, after a minor drop throughout the period given. Looking in more detail, the
energy
 demand commenced with 5
energy
units
 in 1985,
although
 it saw a modest decline of almost 200 billion megajoules.
By contrast
, fossil fuels
energy
 availability began with just under 4
energy
units
, and it
followed
Add a missing verb
was followed
show examples
 by a slight increase by 1990.
Additionally
, citizens of Freedonia required
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
approximately constant
energy
 until 1995,
along with
 200 billion megajoules.
Nevertheless
, the
energy
 existence experienced an upward increase by 1995 to about 7
energy
units
. With regard to the remaining data, the
energy
 available observed a gradual decrease by around 250 billion megajoules, followed by a stable fluctuation till 2005.
Furthermore
, the
energy
 demand rose significantly to 7
energy
units
 by 2005.
Submitted by ilkin.abdullaev04 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, units with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: