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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #option #sort #parents #teachers #behaviour
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Teaching
children
Use synonyms
 in order to improve their abilities toward the distinction between accurate and inaccurate ways, has been a vital topic of debate.
While
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 some people believe that punishment should be considered a crucial method in
this
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 approach, I strongly do not agree with
this
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 viewpoint and believe that
children
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 should grow up and learn to make correct decisions
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 appropriate methods
such
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 as grounding.
Firstly
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,
although
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 there are various forms of
punishments
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 available, most of them have gradually been ignored over the years,
due to
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 significant reasons,
such
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 as less confident adulteresses.
Therefore
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, bringing up
children
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 with good
values
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, not only contributes to growing their personalities dramatically but
also
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 can increase a sense of confidence when becoming adulteresses.
Thus
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, these
values
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 should be aimed at enhancing accurate methods of punishment.
For instance
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, consider a little boy who has struggled to distinguish between right and wrong decisions. If their parents decide to punish him,
due to
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 a broken window which happened when he was playing with his ball, the result undeniably would lead to dissatisfaction.
As a result
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,
this
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 boy might continue his stubborn behaviour.
On the other hand
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, there are useful methods rather than physical
punishments
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 to bring up
children
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. One of the most significant of them is grounding, a new approach to bringing up
children
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 with satisfaction
values
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, in
this
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 method
children
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 after acting
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad behaviour must go to their rooms and think about their actions for a specific time and
then
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 return back to their parents. In conclusion,
while
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 there are various opinions about the
punishments
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 of
children
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, those physical
punishments
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 have been ignored over the years. I firmly do not agree with
punishments
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 and believe that parents and schools should use a grounding approach to help
children
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 bring up with high
values
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 and
also
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 confidence.
Submitted by mahanz on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main ideas that your essay will cover. This will help in setting a strong foundation for your argument.
task achievement
Develop each paragraph fully by ensuring each point is supported with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on the overall flow of the essay by connecting your points logically, and use linking words effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which supports your viewpoint well.
task achievement
The essay addresses the main topic by discussing both the idea of punishment and alternative methods like grounding.
task achievement
You have identified key reasons against physical punishment, showing an understanding of alternative disciplinary methods.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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