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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

#countries #people #right #vote
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The
right
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 to
vote
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 is the foundation of democracy. For decades, freedom fighters across the world moved mountains to have
this
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right
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 against the monarch systems.
However
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, the latest trend shows that not enough people are exercising their
right
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 to
vote
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.
Although
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 the age ranges vary and spread across all groups, it has been noticed that younger people are neglecting their
right
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 to
vote
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.
This
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 poses a great risk to a nation's democratic values.
Right
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, to pick a representative liberates people as each
vote
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 has equal value irrespective of the caste, colour, creed , sex, or religion of the voter. If the decline continues at the same rate, groups with ulterior motives can take advantage of it and can rig the election in a manner that the winner will be puppets in the hands of the organisers.
However
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, all is not lost. I believe the solution lies in educating the public. Civics lessons, citizen rights and human rights must be discussed with kids
right
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 from the start. Workshops and polls must be organised by the concerned public to gaze at the concerns and questions of the younger generation to understand their aversion to voting. Education must happen
right
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 at home,and a culture of discussing politics for social upliftment must be cultivated at home.
Submitted by outpost.03.cameo on

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task achievement
To strengthen task achievement, consider incorporating specific examples or case studies illustrating the effects of low youth voter turnout in specific countries. This will make your points more relatable and grounded.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear separation between sections in the essay, possibly by adding distinct paragraphs for each point. This will make the essay flow more logically and improve its readability.
coherence cohesion
A more detailed conclusion summarizing the main points could enhance the essay's overall coherence and ensure a lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-rounded understanding of the potential consequences of low voter turnout among young people, demonstrating a strong grasp of the issues involved.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-organized and follow a logical order, ensuring clarity and cohesion throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the topic and captures the reader’s interest, while the solution-oriented approach in the latter part of the essay offers a positive outlook.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratic process
  • political instability
  • skewed representation
  • governance
  • erosion
  • civic education
  • alienation
  • policy-making
  • accessible
  • incentives
What to do next:
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