Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays
lot
of tourists call on
such
as places where
shape
Fix the agreement mistake
shapes
show examples
are arduous
such
as the
Sahara
desert or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Antarctica
In my
opinion
lot
of advantages
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
especially these destinations offer an incredible sense
adventure
Change preposition
of adventure
show examples
as tourists and get
explore
Fix the infinitive
to explore
show examples
environments far from in
Sahara
desert or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Antarctica
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
tourists
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of countries especially
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
learn about
ecosystem
Fix the agreement mistake
ecosystems
show examples
and wildlife and
unique
Correct article usage
the unique
show examples
to things environment and In my
opinion
these is comfortable for me but these not have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
drink
Change the verb form
drinking
show examples
water but
Antarctica
have a
lot
of ice these is very
emmitsion
Correct your spelling
emission
moments for me there are advantages side for me
Correct your spelling
However
Howaver
Correct your spelling
However
Correct your spelling
therefore
thefore
Correct your spelling
therefore
in my
opinion
should
be not forget
Change the verb form
not forget
show examples
to take drink water when goes there
such
as
Sahara
after that these areas have
a extreme weather conditions
Correct the article-noun agreement
an extreme weather condition
extreme weather conditions
show examples
such
as extreme heat in
Sahara
and freezing
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
in
Antarctica
In my
opinion
don't go to two
Correct your spelling
place
places
palce
Correct your spelling
place
such
as
Antarctica
or
Sahara
desert In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
to
such
destinations can be incredibly rewarding for adventure but there are
also
necessary to look at the climate there
Submitted by Writing9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay would benefit from adding more specific examples. Consider describing a unique experience in the Sahara or Antarctica to make your points more vivid.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your sentences to make the essay easier to follow. Try using linking words and phrases like "thus," "however," and "as a result."
task response
Aim to clarify your ideas further. Instead of saying "especially their learn about ecosystem and wildlife," try explaining how tourists engage with these aspects specifically.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion provide a clear framework for your essay. You have introduced the topic effectively and wrapped up your thoughts in the conclusion.
task response
You address both benefits and disadvantages, which indicates a balanced approach to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • eco-conscious tourism
  • cultural immersion
  • resilience
  • untouched destinations
  • commercialized
  • ecosystems
  • infrastructure
  • sensitive areas
  • cultural sensitivity
  • environmental impact
  • personal growth
  • extreme conditions
  • tourist footprint
  • unique experiences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: