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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level
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Primary
Add an article
The primary
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 level is
nascent
Add an article
a nascent
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 stage in a
kids
Change noun form
kid's
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 life. It's the time
where
Correct word choice
when
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 children are more receptive and open to
learn
Change the verb form
learning
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great
Change the article
a great
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 many things. Experts say that it is the right time to expose
kids
 with different hobbies or
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
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 as it will be quicker for the
kids
 to pick up. There are people with the opinion that
kids
 should focus on science and technology right from the start
however
 for others, music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects. Music, arts, drama and sports
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
kids
 develop their personality. It helps them break out of their shell. We
also
 must remember that not everyone has
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
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 or acumen for science or arts. Exposure to all these subjects equally will help provide students
a
Add the preposition
with a
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foundation to start from,
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 to know where their
stregth
Correct your spelling
strength
 lies. Considering
this
, I agree with the statement that all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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subjects should be given equal importance
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 at
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
show examples
 level.
Submitted by outpost.03.cameo on

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task achievement
Consider including more specific examples to illustrate your points, which could help strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure varied sentence structures to improve the overall flow and make your essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for discussing your points.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view, acknowledging both sides of the argument, which helps in building a persuasive argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
What to do next:
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