Nowadays new technologies have changed children spend their free time. Advantages and outweigh the disadvantages of this view?

In recent years, new technologies have significantly transformed how
children
spend their free time.
While
there are notable advantages to these advancements, there are
also
some concerns about their impact on
children
’s development.
This
essay will explore both sides before determining whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. One of the primary advantages of
technology
is its ability to provide
children
with access to a vast array of educational resources. Online platforms, apps, and games can teach them valuable skills in areas
such
as mathematics, languages, and problem-solving, all in an engaging and interactive
ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
way
show examples
.
Additionally
,
technology
allows
children
to connect with peers globally, fostering social development and cultural awareness. The convenience of digital entertainment,
such
as streaming services and online gaming,
also
provides
children
with options for leisure, often at the touch of a button.
However
, these technological advancements
also
come with significant drawbacks. Excessive screen time is one of the biggest
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
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. Studies have shown that prolonged exposure to screens can negatively impact
children
's physical health, leading to issues
such
as eye strain, poor posture, and a sedentary lifestyle, which in turn can contribute to obesity. More importantly, overuse of
technology
can reduce face-to-face interactions, limiting
children
’s social skills and their ability to engage in real-world activities.
This
isolation can
also
contribute to mental health challenges, including anxiety and depression. In conclusion,
while
technology
offer
Change the verb form
offers
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numerous educational and social benefits, its excessive use poses serious risks to
children
’s physical and mental well-being. To ensure that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, it is crucial for parents and educators to encourage a balanced approach, setting limits on screen time and promoting offline activities. By doing so,
children
can enjoy the benefits of
technology
without compromising their
overall
development.
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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments further. For instance, refer to studies or data related to screen time impacts.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to transition smoothly between points in a paragraph to enhance readability and connection between ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages clearly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, outlining the main points and summarizing the overall arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, with well-supported main points.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Cyberbullying
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Inappropriate content
  • Self-learning
  • Screen time
  • Social inequality
  • Enhanced communication
  • Creative expression
  • Educational resources
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