Some believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Others say it is the government that should take care of the environment. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

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It
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
a highly debatable issue
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
few years
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
who
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
the onus of protecting
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
either individuals or
law makers
Correct your spelling
lawmakers
show examples
. Some people opine that it is
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
,
while
others say it is
government
. In the upcoming paragraphs,
this
essay will delve deeper into both sides and I personally believe
this
issue can
be solve
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be solved
show examples
effectively by the joint
collaborations
Fix the agreement mistake
collaboration
show examples
of society and higher authority. To commence with. let us shed light on the former
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
. First and foremost, as we all know today 21st century is
consumerist
Correct article usage
a consumerist
show examples
society .Individual
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
their money on buying more and more products and
these
Change the determiner
this
show examples
stuff comes in packing with a lot of plastic
such
as to cover and
wrapp
Correct your spelling
wrap
wrapped
the stuff and
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
plastic can't be recycled and decompose which remains in our landfill for 200 years and produce toxic gases in the
environment
.
Furthermore
, owing to privacy and
intovert
Correct your spelling
introvert
introverted
thinking people
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
spend their money on buying cars and bikes.As we all know these fossil fuel cars
emits
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emit
show examples
harmful gases into the atmosphere .
Hence
, these gases deplete the
environment
and
problem
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problems
show examples
such
as global warming and air pollution
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
. let us discuss Why
government
support is necessary to overcome
this
problem.
Firstly
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should take strict action on the companies which use plastic bags to wrap their products and
additionally
impose large fines who break
these law
Change the determiner
this law
these laws
show examples
.
Secondly
,
regime
Add an article
the regime
show examples
should allocate more funds to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transport
such
as buses and trams.
Last
but not least,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should start
awareness
Correct article usage
an awareness
show examples
program about protecting
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
with the help of schools because a lot of
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
generation are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
the serious consequences of problems like air pollution and global warming.
For example
, research conducted by the University of British Columbia in Vancouver
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Canada 2012 asserted that 4% of problems like pollution
recorded
Add a missing verb
were recorded
show examples
less when higher authorities aware people with the
helpof
Correct your spelling
help of
seminars and self-awareness programs. To recapitulate, it be asserted that
this
problem will
be jointly handle
Change the verb form
be jointly handled
show examples
by the individual and
government
policies.
Submitted by navdeepbajaj89 on

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clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay presents relevant ideas about both individual responsibility and governmental roles in environmental protection. Ensure to maintain consistent clarity throughout your essay to improve comprehensiveness.
relevant specific examples
Strengthen your examples by making them more specific and directly tied to your main points. This will enhance the relevance and impact of your arguments.
logical structure
Develop logical connectors and transitions between points to enhance the overall coherence. Some ideas feel slightly disjointed and would benefit from clearer connections.
introduction conclusion present
The essay effectively introduces and concludes the discussion, outlining both points of view and offering a personal opinion.
complete response
Your arguments are pertinent, and you address the task effectively by discussing both sides of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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