nowadays many people use social media do you think advantages of this outweigh disadvantages

At present, a huge number of
people
are using social
media
in order to communicate, gain information and promote their business. Some claim that
this
has an adverse effect on the living society
while
I am a proponent of the view that the benefits of using social
networks
exceed the drawbacks.
This
essay will elucidate both the merits and the downsides of
this
phenomenon. There is a myriad of advantages to these platforms. Primarily,
this
allows the community to interact with close ones who live far away.
For example
, instant messengers
such
as WhatsApp can be used to make video calls, allowing
people
to share important life news.
Thus
, social
media
is crucial to strengthen relationships with others.
Furthermore
, social
networks
play a key role in receiving information.Users are able to subscribe to fan pages where they can learn languages, enabling them to boost their language skills.
Finally
, companies can use social
networks
like Instagram to boost their products which not only soars their sales but
also
creates product awareness.
Nevertheless
, it is important to recognize that social
media
has a negative impact on society.
To begin
with,
this
causes addiction.
According to
a study, the majority of
people
spend around four to five hours on social
media
watching unnecessary content, causing them to be lazier than their opponents which leads to a reduction in their daily productivity.
Additionally
, using an intensive amount of social
networks
leads to serious health issues
such
as poor vision. Since looking at a screen without taking breaks causes strain on the eyes, many users suffer from eye-related diseases in their later lives.
To conclude
,
although
using social
media
has a number of drawbacks
such
as addiction and poor vision, I strongly believe that the benefits of
this
overshadow the drawbacks, provided
people
use these platforms wisely.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

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task achievement
While the essay effectively discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of social media, consider including a more balanced evaluation of both sides to achieve a comprehensive analysis.
coherence cohesion
To further enhance your coherence and cohesion, try using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly and ensure a logical flow throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the main points of the essay and effectively sets up the discussion of the topic.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided to support the main points, such as the use of WhatsApp and Instagram, which effectively illustrate the arguments.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized communication
  • instant messaging
  • video calls
  • educational tools
  • information and resources
  • social and political issues
  • wider reach
  • targeted advertising
  • mental health
  • productivity
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misuse of personal information
  • identity theft
  • financial loss
  • misinformation
  • social panic
  • harmful ideologies
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