IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows data on the manufacture of passenger cars in 2015.

The graph shows data on the manufacture of passenger cars in 2015.
The provided pie chart illustrates data on the percentage of produce of world passenger cars in 2015. From an
overall
Linking Words
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
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 it can be clearly seen that the proportion of production was
highest
Add an article
the highest
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 point in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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North
America
Use synonyms
, Europe and Greater China,
while
Linking Words
 the share of production of passenger cars
lowest
Add a missing verb
was lowest
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 in Japan/Korea,South Asia, South
America
Use synonyms
 and
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
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east
Capitalize word
East
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/Africa. Looking into the details,Greater China and Europe were dominant in car production,26 and 25 % respectively.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, North
America
Use synonyms
 took second place with 19%. These three different countries are the world’s leading automobile manufacturers. When it comes to other different countries, they had a smaller percentage of car
produce
Replace the word
production
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 and the lowest percentage was in
Correct article usage
the middle
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middle
Capitalize word
Middle
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 East/ Africa,13 times less than in Greater China, at 2 %.
In addition
Linking Words
, South
America
Use synonyms
 produced twice as much and showed 4%.
Finally
Linking Words
, south Asia and Japan/

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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