Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, governments should prioritise health care. Other people believe that there are more important priorities for taxpayers' money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

While
it
widely
Add a missing verb
is widely
show examples
debated that when it comes to prioritizing taxes,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should
emphasis
Replace the word
emphasise
show examples
on
health
care
over anything else, others argue that there are more crucial priorities
such
as
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
to allocate first-hand for solving worrying
Correct article usage
the iliteracy
show examples
iliteracy
Correct your spelling
illiteracy
literacy
rate. Both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
and reasons why I
support
the former statement seeing that
health
conditions are keys
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
success which will be discussed
further
in
this
essay.
To begin
with, it seems sensible for some to believe that
health
care
should be the main
aims
Fix the agreement mistake
aim
show examples
for
government
to offer financial
support
.
This
is possibly because medical expenses often
costs
Change the verb form
cost
show examples
at a very high price that many people passed away
due to
unaffordable prices of treatment. It is widely known that medical
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
expensive as it underwent
sohphisticated
Correct your spelling
sophisticated
cleaning and dumping
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
. In
this
sense, many expected the taxes they paid would somehow return to them as a better quality of
health
care
services.
Therefore
, many opponents of
this
idea might
opposed
Verb problem
argue
show examples
that there are
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
vital aspects for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
to
support
for the sake of the public as a whole, especially
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
. It is said that education is
basic
Correct article usage
a basic
show examples
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
in today's world where everyone should be literate. Take America,
for example
; there is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research showing a shocking rate of
illteracy
Correct your spelling
illiteracy
literacy
among
american
Correct your spelling
Americans
where
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not free.
That is
why education should be supported
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
government
so that they can be literate and
as well as
further
develop on their own. From my perspective, I strongly agree that it is vital for the authorities to provide monetary
support
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
healthcare. As
health
status of the people
connected
Add a missing verb
is connected
show examples
with the potential of
particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
nation to survive. The more active and healthy the people, the
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
show examples
money they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
on medical expenses which can later
allocate
Wrong verb form
be allocated
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
funding for other priorities as mentioned earlier. In a nutshell,
although
it is undeniable that other priorities
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
health
care
should gain more attention as it
is concerning
Wrong verb form
concerns
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
such
as
illteracy
Correct your spelling
illiteracy
literacy
, I am of the opinion that once the expenses on sickness
plummeted
Replace the word
plummet
show examples
the greater funding the
government
can use for other problems.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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task achievement
Provide clearer examples to support each viewpoint. For instance, when discussing healthcare, mention specific countries or systems that have benefited from prioritizing healthcare funding. Similarly, when discussing education, include more data or scenarios from specific countries to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, distinct point, and transition smoothly from one to another. For instance, the connection between health spending and economic prosperity can be developed with clearer links to the subsequent argument on education.
coherence cohesion
Revise grammatical errors and sentence structure for clarity. Pay attention to verb forms, such as 'underwent' instead of 'undergo,' and ensure nouns are in their correct singular or plural form, for example, 'equipment' rather than 'equipments.'
coherence cohesion
Develop the conclusion further, reiterating the strong points of the argument and summarizing the main points discussed to reinforce the final opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents both viewpoints and the writer's stance, setting up the discussion nicely.
task achievement
The essay addresses relevant points about both healthcare and education, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively reinforces the writer's opinion by explaining the potential societal benefits of prioritizing healthcare.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Fundamental need
  • 2. Economic growth and development
  • 3. Workforce productivity
  • 4. Preventive health care
  • 5. Cost-effective
  • 6. Long-term outcomes
  • 7. Health disparities
  • 8. Social equity
  • 9. Socioeconomic status
  • 10. Vulnerable populations
  • 11. Infrastructure
  • 12. Quality of life
  • 13. Knowledgeable workforce
  • 14. Economic propellers
  • 15. Balanced approach
  • 16. Diverse allocation
  • 17. Societal development
  • 18. Robust economic performance
  • 19. Public funds
  • 20. Health system burden
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