Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, governments should prioritise health care. Other people believe that there are more important priorities for taxpayers' money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
While
it widely
debated that when it comes to prioritizing taxes, Add a missing verb
is widely
government
should Add an article
the government
emphasis
on Replace the word
emphasise
health
care
over anything else, others argue that there are more crucial priorities such
as educations
to allocate first-hand for solving worrying Fix the agreement mistake
education
Correct article usage
the iliteracy
iliteracy
rate. Both Correct your spelling
illiteracy
literacy
point
of Fix the agreement mistake
points
views
and reasons why I Fix the agreement mistake
view
support
the former statement seeing that health
conditions are keys of
success which will be discussed Change preposition
to
further
in this
essay.
To begin
with, it seems sensible for some to believe that health
care
should be the main aims
for Fix the agreement mistake
aim
government
to offer financial support
. This
is possibly because medical expenses often costs
at a very high price that many people passed away Change the verb form
cost
due to
unaffordable prices of treatment. It is widely known that medical equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
are
expensive as it underwent Correct subject-verb agreement
is
sohphisticated
cleaning and dumping Correct your spelling
sophisticated
process
. In Fix the agreement mistake
processes
this
sense, many expected the taxes they paid would somehow return to them as a better quality of health
care
services.
Therefore
, many opponents of this
idea might opposed
that there are Verb problem
argue
others
vital aspects for Correct quantifier usage
other
government
to Correct article usage
the government
support
for the sake of the public as a whole, especially educations
. It is said that education is Fix the agreement mistake
education
basic
Correct article usage
a basic
rights
in today's world where everyone should be literate. Take America, Fix the agreement mistake
right
for example
; there is a
research showing a shocking rate of Remove the article
apply
illteracy
among Correct your spelling
illiteracy
literacy
american
where Correct your spelling
Americans
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
are
not free. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
That is
why education should be supported from
the Change preposition
by
government
so that they can be literate and as well as
further
develop on their own.
From my perspective, I strongly agree that it is vital for the authorities to provide monetary support
on
healthcare. As Change preposition
for
health
status of the people connected
with the potential of Add a missing verb
is connected
particular
nation to survive. The more active and healthy the people, the Add an article
a particular
fewer
money they Correct quantifier usage
less
spent
on medical expenses which can later Wrong verb form
spend
allocate
Wrong verb form
be allocated
in
funding for other priorities as mentioned earlier.
In a nutshell, Change preposition
to
although
it is undeniable that other priorities beside
Change preposition
besides
health
care
should gain more attention as it is concerning
Wrong verb form
concerns
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
among
Change preposition
in
the
society Correct article usage
apply
such
as illteracy
, I am of the opinion that once the expenses on sickness Correct your spelling
illiteracy
literacy
plummeted
the greater funding the Replace the word
plummet
government
can use for other problems.Submitted by kamonluck1999 on
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task achievement
Provide clearer examples to support each viewpoint. For instance, when discussing healthcare, mention specific countries or systems that have benefited from prioritizing healthcare funding. Similarly, when discussing education, include more data or scenarios from specific countries to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, distinct point, and transition smoothly from one to another. For instance, the connection between health spending and economic prosperity can be developed with clearer links to the subsequent argument on education.
coherence cohesion
Revise grammatical errors and sentence structure for clarity. Pay attention to verb forms, such as 'underwent' instead of 'undergo,' and ensure nouns are in their correct singular or plural form, for example, 'equipment' rather than 'equipments.'
coherence cohesion
Develop the conclusion further, reiterating the strong points of the argument and summarizing the main points discussed to reinforce the final opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents both viewpoints and the writer's stance, setting up the discussion nicely.
task achievement
The essay addresses relevant points about both healthcare and education, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively reinforces the writer's opinion by explaining the potential societal benefits of prioritizing healthcare.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.