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Writing Samples
Band 6

The teaching of Information Technology is a standard part of the school curriculum in most secondary schools. The same is now happening in primary schools,where children as young as six are learning how to use computers. However, there is a danger that IT skills are being taught at the expense of more basic skills.

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In recent years, the study of IT has become a standard part of the
school
Use synonyms
 programme in most secondary schools, and now in primary schools too.
However
Linking Words
, there is a growing concern that IT
skills
Use synonyms
 are being taught at the expense of more basic
skills
Use synonyms
. I disagree with
this
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 view and believe that learning IT will not affect progress in other important subjects.
To begin
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 with,
school
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 programmes are carefully designed to provide pupils with enough time to study all subjects effectively.
As a result
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, children can learn IT
while
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 taking up basic
skills
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such
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 as reading, writing and maths. A well-designed programme allows for a balanced education.
In addition
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, information technology is becoming increasingly important and is used in almost all areas, from the workplace to everyday life. Even the elementary use of a computer at home needs some
skills
Use synonyms
 that many people lack today.
Therefore
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, computer science lessons are needed to give students the necessary basic knowledge, and as a separate
subject
Add a comma
subject,
show examples
 it requires special time for effective teaching.
On the other hand
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, information technology is a complex subject that requires a solid knowledge base. Introducing it too early,
for example
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 in primary
school
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, may not be effective and may damage the learning of basic
skills
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. Young children still may not have the cognitive abilities required to pick up advanced IT
skills
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 concepts, which can lead to
imbalance
Add an article
an imbalance
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 in their education. In conclusion, a well-structured curriculum can provide enough time for both IT and essential subjects. In today's world, computer
skills
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 are
important
Rephrase
as important
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 as the ability to read and count.
Therefore
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, the study should be supported and
appropriate
Change the word
appropriately
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integrate
Wrong verb form
integrated
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 into the
school
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 programme.

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task achievement
While your essay provides a detailed response to the task, try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your points more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the main argument you are making. Although your points are generally well-organized, linking phrases can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines your stance on the topic and sets the stage for the rest of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion neatly encapsulates your arguments and reinforces your main point, providing a strong end to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The argument is generally clear and logical, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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