Some people believe that a country becomes more interesting and develops faster when its population includes a mixture of different nationalities and cultures. To what extend do you agree and disagree?

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Some people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe

The word belive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that a
mix
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
nationalites
Correct your spelling
nationalities
nationality

If you don’t want nationalites to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures

It seems that culture may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in a
country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

could add more to economic growth and create a more attractive
culture
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay
Add a comma
essay,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In this essay. Consider adding a comma.

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i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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will
explaining
Change the verb form
explain
be explaining

The verb explaining after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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the points and say why
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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strongly agree or
disagre
Correct your spelling
disagree

If you don’t want disagre to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. Big Cities where the economy is more well developed are propensity to be more effervescent and popular.
Everyday
Correct your spelling
Every day

The word Everyday doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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receiving
Wrong verb form
receives

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb receiving. Consider changing it.

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a
mix
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of nationalities and different cultures
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, warming up
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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tourism. I strongly agree that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

junction of nationalities and
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures

It seems that culture may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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add
Correct subject-verb agreement
adds

It seems that the verb add does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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benefits, and a
country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

becomes more entertaining and rich. Places like London, which is a
cosmopolit
Correct your spelling
cosmopolitan
cosmopolite

If you don’t want cosmopolit to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
and
Correct word choice
where

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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the diversity of
nationalites
Correct your spelling
nationalities

If you don’t want nationalites to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

are the main aspect, are helped by the
imigration
Correct your spelling
immigration
emigration
migration

If you don’t want imigration to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

that does the
labor
Change the spelling
labour

The spelling of labor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
work for
exemple
Correct your spelling
example

If you don’t want exemple to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the natives in the
majorety
Correct your spelling
majority

If you don’t want majorety to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

prefer
Add the particle
prefer to

It appears that the verb apply should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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apply to
Change preposition
for qualificated
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qualificated
Correct your spelling
qualified
qualification

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jobs. In
addiction
Correct your spelling
addition

The word addiction doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, the
mix
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures

It seems that culture may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
helps against
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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racism,
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

creating a place of greater understanding. On
other
Correct article usage
the other

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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hand, the maxively
mix
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of different nationalities could take
off
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

its
onw
Correct your spelling
own
now

If you don’t want onw to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

culture
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
customs
Correct word choice
and customs

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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and lose it
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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indentity
Correct your spelling
identity

If you don’t want indentity to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. The
exemples
Correct your spelling
examples

If you don’t want exemples to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

I could add
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

It seems that the verb is does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma between the verb and object in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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my own
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences

It seems that experience may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. The place that I used to go
when
Change preposition
to when

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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was
teenager
Correct article usage
a teenager

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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, is totally dominated by Argentine people, and we as natives have been presenting the
disapering
Correct your spelling
disappearing
diapering

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of the
culture
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, habits and identity. I can not deny the changes and the economic
grown
Replace the word
growth

The word grown doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, but sometimes
its
Correct your spelling
it's

The word its doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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fews
Correct your spelling
seems

If you don’t want fews to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

like we do not
belonging
Change the verb form
belong

It appears that the verb belonging is incorrectly used with the helping verb do. Consider changing it to the base form.

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to the place. In conclusion,
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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overal
Correct your spelling
overall

If you don’t want overal to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, I consider
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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miscegenation potent and necessary to the
developement
Correct your spelling
development

If you don’t want developement to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and diversity of the
country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in
spide
Correct your spelling
spite

The word spide doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of to sum good things if it
is not control
Change the verb form
does not control

It appears that the form of the verb control does not work with is in this sentence.

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could
couse sirious
Correct your spelling
cause serious

The words couse sirious seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

harm.

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the task prompt more consistently. For example, if you agree or disagree, clearly state your position and consistently relate each example and paragraph back to this central standpoint.
coherence cohesion
Clarify your ideas with smoother transitions between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Furthermore, ensure that body paragraphs are connected logically and coherently follow each other.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay to unify the central argument, making sure examples directly support the main points being made. Explore each idea more deeply for greater clarity.
relevant specific examples
The essay offers personal observations and examples that are quite specific, enriching the argument presented.
introduction conclusion present
There is a discernible introduction and conclusion, both of which serve their purposes by setting context and summarizing the viewpoint, respectively.
relevant specific examples
The use of known examples, such as London, helps ground the argument in reality, enhancing the overall persuasive effect for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural diversity
  • Innovation
  • Multiculturalism
  • Social fabric
  • Heterogeneity
  • Integration
  • Global connections
  • Holistic education
  • National identity
  • Tolerance
  • Heritage
  • Enriches
  • Vibrant
  • Clashes
  • Economic competition
What to do next:
Look at other essays: