IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

In some people countries adult are living with their parents after graduation or even after finding a job.Do there advantages outlay disadvantages?

#people #countries #adult #parents #graduation #job #outlay
There are
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of countries where children who
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the age of
adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families prefer to live
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
parents
 after school or
applying
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
 for a job In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 many
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
adults
living
Verb problem
leave
show examples
 their
parents
 especially their are after graduating or after finding a job.I believe that children can help their
parents
 by staying with them.
This
 is
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 side but there are disadvantages to
this
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 I think there are natural that they get confused when their
parents
 are near them and they are not express
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their ideas.
This
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 lots of because some
adults
 want to
living
Change the verb
live
show examples
 with their
parents
 in the future and they know that their
parents
 are healthy.To be
honest
Add a comma
honest,
show examples
parents
 are always with them throughout their lives and always
stands
Correct subject-verb agreement
stand
show examples
 by them.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 most disadvantages some countries
adults
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
living with
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
parents
 sharing
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
 can lead to
Correct article usage
a lace
show examples
lace
Correct your spelling
lack
show examples
 of
private
Replace the word
privacy
show examples
 and their ideas can not
express
Wrong verb form
be expressed
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
adults
 living with their
parents
 might postpone learning essential life skills budgeting,cooking,or managing a household. In conclusion some countries
adults
 are living with their
parents
fo
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 those seeking independence and personality growth moving out might
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be
option
Add an article
an option
show examples
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows logically to the next. Use linking words and phrases effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main thesis with relevant examples. Consider introducing more specific, real-world examples to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more fully throughout the essay, avoid repetition, and refine your main points.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses the topic and presents both advantages and disadvantages of adults living with their parents after graduation.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the essay well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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