An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
World technology
is increase
all types of growth. nowadays Change the verb form
is increasing
cosmetic
Fix the agreement mistake
cosmetics
is
one of the best technological Correct subject-verb agreement
are
development
in the world. It has been increasing Fix the agreement mistake
developments
to
all nations. many people Change preposition
in
is
doing cosmetic Change the verb form
are
surgery
for verious purpouse
. It has positive and Correct your spelling
various purposes
negetive
development. I will explain Correct your spelling
negative
about
it next paragraph.
Change preposition
apply
Firstly
, people are like many thinks
. those are, they are Correct your spelling
things
chanching
Correct your spelling
changing
appearence
for lots of needs. somebody Correct your spelling
appearance
are
Change the verb form
is
like
modelling, acting,Change preposition
apply
changeing
Correct your spelling
changing
hanging
there
face and body Correct your spelling
their
for earning
money Change preposition
to earn
to
them Change preposition
apply
therefore
, they are Add the comma(s)
, therefore
doing
Verb problem
having
surgery
. some people change
there
Correct your spelling
their
feeling
from cosmetic Replace the word
feelings
surgery
. It is a very vital cause for earning money. For example
. many old actors Verb problem
have
are
Change the verb form
are changing
are changed
change
there
appearance, many fat women Replace the word
their
are
Verb problem
have
change
there less fat. Wrong verb form
changed
moreover
, Capitalize word
Moreover
sombody
Correct your spelling
somebody
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
are
Change the verb form
are changed
are changing
change
women to men, men to women.
Moreover
, In
Change preposition
apply
this
surgery
will be affecting to them.when
they Capitalize word
When
did
Wrong verb form
do
this
surgery
they have to use
unusful
and effecting Correct your spelling
unuseful
unusual
chamical
It is not Correct your spelling
chemical
sutable
for Correct your spelling
suitable
Correct article usage
the futur
futur
. some time they can Correct your spelling
future
died
. Change the verb form
die
other
Correct quantifier usage
Another
think
is when Correct your spelling
thing
the
Correct your spelling
they
doing
Wrong verb form
do
this
plastic surgery
they will be changing human feeling
. It is very not Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
accepteble
for us. indeed, Correct your spelling
acceptable
some time
make some Replace the word
sometimes
illegel
activities. Correct your spelling
illegal
For example
; last
year one of pastic
Correct article usage
a pastic
surgery
person died because he use
chemichals, when somebody Wrong verb form
used
chenge
Correct your spelling
changes
girl
to Correct article usage
a girl
boy
it is not acceptable Add an article
the boy
a boy
for
Change preposition
in
socities
.
In Correct your spelling
society
Fix the agreement mistake
Conclusion
Conclusions
, Plastic Fix the agreement mistake
Conclusion
surgery
is Correct article usage
apply
a
one of Correct article usage
apply
Correct article usage
the moden
Correct article usage
the moden
Correct your spelling
modern
moden
Correct your spelling
modern
technology
in the world. when we Fix the agreement mistake
technologies
use
this
technology we can get more benifits
in future. it has positive and Correct your spelling
benefits
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
advantage
. in my Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
openion
, when Correct your spelling
opinion
i
Change the capitalization
I
use
this
Correct determiner usage
these
usfull
needs we can get more Correct your spelling
useful
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
otherwise
we have to face many problems.Submitted by nrilwan373 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear purpose and structure, with a clear topic sentence and supporting sentences.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your main ideas more clearly, ensuring they are connected logically.
coherence cohesion
Try to develop your ideas more thoroughly, providing more in-depth explanations and examples.
task achievement
You have addressed both the positive and negative aspects of cosmetic surgery, which shows a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!