An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #surgery #appearance #operations #change #development

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World technology

is increase

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is increasing

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all types of growth. nowadays

cosmetic

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cosmetics

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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one of the best technological

development

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developments

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in the world. It has been increasing

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all nations. many people

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are

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doing cosmetic

surgery

for

verious purpouse

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various purposes

. It has positive and

negetive

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negative

development. I will explain

about

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apply

show examples

it next paragraph.

Firstly

, people are like many

thinks

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things

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. those are, they are

chanching

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changing

appearence

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appearance

for lots of needs. somebody

are

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show examples

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apply

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modelling, acting,

changeing

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changing

hanging

there

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their

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face and body

for earning

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to earn

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money

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apply

show examples

them

therefore

Add the comma(s)

, therefore

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, they are

doing

Verb problem

having

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surgery

. some people

change

there

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their

show examples

feeling

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feelings

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from cosmetic

surgery

. It is a very vital cause for earning money.

For example

. many old actors

Verb problem

have

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are

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are changing

are changed

show examples

change

there

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their

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appearance, many fat women

are

Verb problem

have

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change

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changed

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there less fat.

moreover

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Moreover

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sombody

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somebody

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are

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are changed

are changing

show examples

change

women to men, men to women.

Moreover

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apply

show examples

this

surgery

will be affecting to them.

when

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When

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they

did

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this

surgery

they have to

use

unusful

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unuseful

unusual

and effecting

chamical

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chemical

It is not

sutable

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suitable

for

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the futur

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futur

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future

. some time they can

died

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die

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other

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Another

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think

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thing

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is when

the

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they

show examples

doing

Wrong verb form

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this

plastic

surgery

they will be changing human

feeling

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feelings

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. It is very not

accepteble

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acceptable

for us. indeed,

some time

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sometimes

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make some

illegel

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illegal

activities.

For example

;

last

year one of

pastic

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a pastic

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surgery

person died because he

use

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used

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chemichals, when somebody

chenge

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changes

girl

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a girl

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boy

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the boy

a boy

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it is not acceptable

for

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socities

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society

. In

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Conclusion

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Conclusions

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Conclusion

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, Plastic

surgery

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apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

one of

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the moden

show examples

Correct article usage

the moden

show examples

Correct your spelling

modern

moden

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modern

technology

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technologies

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in the world. when we

use

this

technology we can get more

benifits

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benefits

in future. it has positive and

negetive

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negative

advantage

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advantages

show examples

. in my

openion

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opinion

, when

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show examples

use

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

usfull

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useful

needs we can get more

benifits

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benefits

otherwise

we have to face many problems.

Fri Nov 15 2024

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task achievement

Ensure each paragraph has a clear purpose and structure, with a clear topic sentence and supporting sentences.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your main ideas more clearly, ensuring they are connected logically.

coherence cohesion

Try to develop your ideas more thoroughly, providing more in-depth explanations and examples.

task achievement

You have addressed both the positive and negative aspects of cosmetic surgery, which shows a balanced view.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
72
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Most people do not care about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that people should be required to retire from their careers at a certain age. Others believe that people should be allowed to work as long as they like. Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.

Some believe that all individuals who break the law should be placed in prison as a form of punishment. However, others hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.