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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, adults are living with their parents, after graduating or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweight disadvantages?

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In many countries, it is common for adults to live with their
parents
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 after graduating or even after securing a job.
This
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 essay examines the advantages
an
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and
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 disadvantages of adults living with their
parents
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 after graduation, focusing on financial, emotional, and social aspects. Living with
parents
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 helps to ease career starting or covering student expenses.
Additionally
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, family members provide emotional and mental support during the transition from student
life
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 to professional
life
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, which strengthens relationships within the family. In some countries, living with
parents
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 can
also
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symolize
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symbolize
symbolise
 respect for family and national values.
On the other hand
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, doing household chores like cooking, cleaning, and ironing together increases family
apprecation
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appreciation
 and reduces a person's tendency to focus solely on themselves. As for the disadvantages, adults living with their
parents
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 may feel limited in their personal freedom and
desicion
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decision
–making.
This
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 could delay the development of important
life
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 skills
such
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 as managing household chores and finances.
Additionally
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, they may become too dependent on their
parents
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 and become fearful of taking risks. For
examle
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example
, moving to another city or living independently might become more difficult.
Furthermore
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,
tbe
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the
 lack of personal opinions and a developed worldview may lead to
may
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many
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 challenges in their
life
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. In conclusion, living with
parents
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 can offer benefits like financial stability, emotional support, and cultural connection, which are often more important in the early stages of adulthood.
However
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, staying dependent for too long can slow personal growth and cause conflicts. Ultimately, the
succes
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success
 of
this
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 situation depends on good communication, mutual respect, and a shared understanding of goals.

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task achievement
Include specific examples or case studies to enhance your argument.
task achievement
Try to clarify any points that may seem vague, to present more comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to show the relationship between different ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that aligns with the main thesis.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all main points are well-supported with evidence or elaboration.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with an introduction that presents the topic and a conclusion summarizing key points.
task achievement
The task response is complete, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main ideas are clear and easy to follow, with a logical progression from one paragraph to the next.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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