Compwtitivness is considered a positive quality for eople in most socities.How does competitivness affect individuals? Is it positive or negative trend?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
today’
Change noun form
today’s
show examples
era, competition plays an important role in everyone’s
life
Use synonyms
, it is believed that competitiveness brings positive
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people. Definitely, it is
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
trend in bringing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
we will discuss how it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
more positive
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative
and
Correct pronoun usage
ones and
show examples
will discuss some
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
with, in
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
life
Use synonyms
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
everyone aims to find a comfortable
life
Use synonyms
which gives them luxury, peace and success.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they need to
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
some competitiveness as it will have some fire inside for a better achievement.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will bring their best outcome in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
respective
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if any student
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
competitiveness he will try to score
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
more marks
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
his fellow classmates
for achieving
Change preposition
To achieve
show examples
more grades he needs to study more apart from studying he will be more disciplined in terms of his routine.
Secondly
Linking Words
, he will come out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
his comfort zone and
tries
Correct subject-verb agreement
try
show examples
to not waste
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time unnecessarily.
Linking Words
This qualities
Change the determiner
This quality
These qualities
show examples
will
implies
Wrong verb form
be applied
show examples
in every profession
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
you are a student, teacher, sportsman,
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
working guy etc. But somehow, I believe that sometimes having
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
competiveness
Correct your spelling
competitiveness
can lead to depression
due to
Linking Words
anxiety, not
able
Add a missing verb
being able
show examples
to do best fear of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
failure,
lack
Correct word choice
and lack
show examples
of
self -confidence
Correct your spelling
self-confidence
show examples
. For the above reasons I would like to suggest that it is most important to have
self- competition
Correct your spelling
self-competition
show examples
in
life
Use synonyms
to become a success but there should be a limit at
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some point it shouldn’t be there by harming our mental health.
To conclude
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, there should be competition in
life
Use synonyms
but it should not have to affect any personal lives or any family member.
Submitted by rp23599 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports the central thesis or point of your essay. Consider starting each paragraph with a topic sentence that clearly identifies its main idea.
task achievement
Ensure you are fully addressing all parts of the essay prompt. Your essay should explain how competitiveness affects individuals with more depth and examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on using transitions cohesively to ensure your argument flows logically from one point to the next without abrupt shifts.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, helping outline the main points of your argument.
task achievement
The essay identifies potential positive and negative aspects of competitiveness, adding depth to your analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: