IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern epoch, there are so many technological
advancement
Change to a plural noun
advancements
show examples
 in the medicine industry.
People
Use synonyms
 are paying for medical
services
Use synonyms
 in many nations, but some individuals believe that medical facilities should be provided by the government at no extra
cost
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue
that
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
 authorities should give free
health
Use synonyms
 care or not and why in the impending paragraphs. After analyzing the statement and explaining
further
Linking Words
, the first and foremost reason to provide free medical facilities is the
underprivilege
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. They can not afford that because medical expenses
cost
Use synonyms
 too much nowadays.
In addition
Linking Words
, they hardly manage their food and education for their children.
For example
Linking Words
, senior citizens can not work
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 old age, so they should be given those
services
Use synonyms
 at no extra
cost
Use synonyms
. Probing ahead, there are
also
Linking Words
 drawbacks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 giving free medical
services
Use synonyms
, one of them is the negative impact on the economy of the country as the nations have to spend a large amount of money on
health
Use synonyms
 treatment.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they have to charge more taxes from
people
Use synonyms
, which
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 in
burden
Add an article
a burden
show examples
 on the pockets of individuals. Another reason is that there will be
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
services
Use synonyms
 and resources,
Linking Words
due
Correct word choice
and due
show examples
 to that
people
Use synonyms
 have to suffer
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 die from the lack of
treament
Correct your spelling
treatment
 and
services
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government hospitals, so
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to go to private hospitals. In conclusion, there are too many factors to consider
while
Linking Words
 giving free
health
Use synonyms
 care
such
Linking Words
 as
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
, resources,
underprivilage
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
people
Use synonyms
 and money. After considering all the
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
, I
disgreed
Correct your spelling
disagreed
disagree
 with the statement as it will be difficult to give
health
Use synonyms
 care at no extra
cost
Use synonyms
 as it will have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on the all factors considered.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay more logically. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea supported with appropriate details. Consider using more transition words to guide the reader through your points smoothly.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your points with specific examples and detailed explanations, offering a more comprehensive view of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your overall stance.
task achievement
The task response is complete, and you address both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal healthcare
  • financial distress
  • healthcare inequalities
  • preventive care
  • medical check-ups
  • healthcare system
  • government budgets
  • economic stability
  • quality of care
  • overburdened healthcare facilities
  • efficient management
  • sustainability
  • wastage of resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: