In some countries students pay the collage and universities fees themselves, but in other it is paid by the government. Do the advantages of government money outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is undeniable that schools are the place where children get knowledge from,
however
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, it has been paid
by
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for by
show examples
learner
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the learner
a learner
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in some nations,
while
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in many countries
cost
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the cost
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of
study
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the study
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is covered by
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government
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the government
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only.
This
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essay will briefly analyse both the merits and demerits of
this
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trend in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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with, the advantages when individuals give
there
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their
show examples
fees
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by
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
.
The first
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First
show examples
and foremost
is
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apply
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they become financially independent as for paying
there
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their
show examples
expenses and
fee
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fees
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, they have to work
part- time
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part-time
show examples
which aids them in understanding the value of money.
As a result
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, they will never encourage
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
to buy useless goods with their
hard earned
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hard-earned
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money.
Moreover
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, paying
there
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their
show examples
fees
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individually
teach
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teaches
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them about how to
being
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be
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a
self- dependent
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self-dependent
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person.
For instance
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, students living away from their parents have to
take
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make
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wise decisions
by
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on
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their own regarding what they have to do or what not even without
theirs
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their
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parents
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parents'
parent's
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help.
Thus
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, they become a self-sufficient person in future.
On the other hand
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, people who
said
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say
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that
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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have to
paid
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pay
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their
fees
Use synonyms
because
by
Change preposition
apply
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doing
this
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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provide
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provides
show examples
everyone with
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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equal access to education regardless of
students
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students'
student's
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socioeconomic status. Since
,
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apply
show examples
students are the future of the country who pay 15% tax to the
government
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when they
started
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start
show examples
to earn by
themselve
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themselves
. So‌,
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the
show examples
government
Use synonyms
is helping everyone so they can get benefits from them in the future.
To conclude
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,
although
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paying
fees
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by
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
helps to maintain social equality among everyone,
fees
Use synonyms
paid by the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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themselves
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
them
in realizing
Wrong verb form
realise
show examples
the importance of money
Submitted by k7jassu on

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task achievement
Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating your position or thesis regarding whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or case studies to support your points and make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, presenting advantages and disadvantages of students paying their own fees versus government covering the costs.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow of ideas, with distinct sections discussing the pros and cons.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • socioeconomic status
  • social equality
  • social mobility
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • economy strengthening
  • financial freedom
  • entrepreneurial ventures
  • financial burden on taxpayers
  • budget cuts
  • academic performance
  • institutional accountability
  • inefficiency
  • decreased motivation
  • merit-based attraction
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