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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Writing 4 Show Test Info Many countries spend a lot of money on art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#show #test #info #countries #money #art #people #investment #health #education
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It is well known that most schools still use paper-based assignments to teach their students handwriting.
However
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, some people argue that handwriting is not relevant anymore and should not be taught in schools. In my opinion, even though handwriting is a huge deal, it is not used as much as before.
First,
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it is generally accepted that writing has been one of the best ways of communicating since the prehistoric ages. Before phones were invented, people around the world used letters and scrolls to communicate with one another.
Therefore
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, handwriting has been taught to children very early on in their lives to teach them how to communicate through writing.
In contrast
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, I believe that technology has given us many ways to communicate,
such
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 as typing. Nowadays, everybody uses their phones to communicate with one another through apps like WhatsApp, Instagram, and many more. It is no longer necessary to communicate through writing.
Second,
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Everybody agrees that writing was used to do many tasks and to keep useful pieces of information in books or scripts.
For example
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, Jews used to write stories about Jesus in scrolls that were
then
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 combined to be the bible that we know today. But,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would argue that in
this
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 era, we can keep everything on the internet. These days, people do their tasks and work online where they can upload it to keep it safe. Since 2020, when the pandemic happened, teachers and students have resorted to Google Classroom more frequently because it is easier to keep track of their work and less usage of paper. In conclusion,
although
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 handwriting used to be a very important skill, I believe that we can rely on technology so that we no longer need to write anymore.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
While the essay provides a clear opinion, it could be strengthened by directly addressing both sides of the argument before giving a personal opinion. Try to ensure that the task is fully achieved by discussing both views more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas more clearly by ensuring that each paragraph fully develops one central idea, and transitions between paragraphs are smoother. Include more logical connectors where necessary to guide the reader more fluidly through your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a slightly stronger introduction and a more robust conclusion that reflect the key points discussed in the main body. Make sure to tie back to your main argument in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument well.
task achievement
Your points about the evolution of communication methods are relevant and effectively illustrate how handwriting's role has changed.
task achievement
The examples concerning technology are appropriate, making the discussion about the relevance of handwriting more concrete.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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