The young can get easily influenced by the internet. What could be the reasons for this? What can be done to exercise more control over their use of the internet. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#internet #exercise #control

It is true that teenagers get influenced easily by the

Internet

. I believe

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

people who get manipulated by the

Internet

are not just young people, but

also

adults.

However

, even though we all get fooled by

this

technology, adults still can distinguish what to believe or not. They tend to have fixed ideas about things in general because they have more

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

show examples

than younger ones. When I was young, I used to believe what the media said as well and I didn't even realise that those could be fake news or posts.

Now

Add the punctuation

Now,

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

know, after many years, that I can not trust everything that I read on the

Internet

Furthermore

, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

too much information. It is hard to know what is real. To be honest, taking their mobiles will be the fastest track to tackle

this

problem. But we all know that it is unrealistic because young kids have

their

Change the word

the

show examples

rights

Fix the agreement mistake

right

show examples

to know what they want to know as well.

Therefore

, parents' and teachers' roles are very crucial to lead them in the right direction. First of all, they should try to reduce the amount of time they spend on social media when they can. I used to feel forced when my phone was taken during classes. But it was actually quite

efficent

Correct your spelling

efficient

to focus on my study and learn

someting

Correct your spelling

something

genuienly

Correct your spelling

genuinely

Also

, these instructors should educate them with correct data, based on books and documents.

Then

, they will be able to become more wise when selecting information. In conclusion, the

Internet

can affect every

individuals

Change to a singular noun

individual

show examples

. It is impossible not to use it but, I think, there are still ways to teach our kids in a better way.

Submitted by dob.jeong on Sat Nov 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples

To improve your essay, try to give more specific examples or anecdotes that directly relate to the main points you have discussed. This will help to strengthen your argument and make it more relatable to the reader.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to use varied sentence structures to maintain the reader's interest and demonstrate your language proficiency. This can improve the overall coherence of your essay.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the question, effectively addressing both reasons why the young are influenced by the Internet and measures to control their usage.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and well-structured, providing a good start and end to the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
In some countries,owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people.Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a possitive or negative situation?
It is stated that some nations, in spite of live in a rent house house ownership is uttermost important factor for individuals. Due to the high inflation house prices are increasing tremendorously. Accordingly, they believe that it will be a great investment. In my opinion I believe that it is a favourable trend for whole community.
7.5
band
ome people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is often said that music has the power to unite and connect people, regardless of their cultural backgrounds or ages. I completely agree with this view, and will give my reasons below.
5
band
Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Pollution is a serious global problem although pollution which is caused by traffic is one which it can be tackled. I would agree that the main way of doing this would be to invest in public transport systems. However, there are also other ways.
7
band
Today, many people don't know their neighbours in large city What problems does this cause what can be done about this .
While the population of major cities increases, the traditional neighbourhood values among citizens are deteriorating. People prioritise socializing through social media platforms over spending time with their neighbours due to the impact of social media platforms as well as diversification in megacities and I think, this can be overcome by organizing community events across the neighbourhoods.
5
band
Some people think that teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness,in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many people feel that younger generation is happier than the older ones however, There are some individuals who are of the thought that adults are more happy then teenagers beside having more responsibilities.I personally feel that life in teens is better.I will discuss both the views in further paragraphs.

The young can get easily influenced by the internet. What could be the reasons for this? What can be done to exercise more control over their use of the internet. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries,owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people.Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a possitive or negative situation?

ome people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today, many people don't know their neighbours in large city What problems does this cause what can be done about this .

Some people think that teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness,in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.